ST PAUL, Minnesota (WNB) - A Minnesota cemetery's call to police Sunday night may have revealed the final resting place for the entertainer Prince.
A security officer from the unnamed St. Paul cemetery called authorities when he heard a loud 'whirring' noise emanating from a recently-completed mausoleum on the property. Police officers arrived within 10 minutes to find the area quiet. The badly shaken security guard told police that the new tomb was the final resting place for the singer Prince.
In what many are calling a bizarre coincidence, the reported noise from the mausoleum appears to have perfectly coincided with singer Madonna's musical tribute to Prince at last night's Billboard Awards. Authorities were back on the scene Monday morning looking for any clues (below).
Prince resting place? Police investigate crypt were noises were heard
WORLD NEWS BUREAU - "Information at the speed of typing"
Barbara Boxer Feared For Her Life At Dem Gathering
Senator Barbara Boxer says she was so terrified of Bernie Sanders supporters booing her off stage at the Nevada Democratic Convention last weekend that she literally feared for her life. "I felt like a fetus at a Planned Parenthood fundraiser," a shaken Boxer told reporters afterward.
Witnesses claim the only thing that saved Boxer from physical harm was the fact that nearly all the Sanders supporters were so high they thought the elderly Senator was already dead. "Even socialists don't mess with zombies," noted one political analyst.
School Board Bans Materials Casting Doubt On Climate Change
The Portland Public Schools Board of Portland, Oregon has unanimously passed a resolution to remove from classrooms any materials that "cast doubt" on whether manmade climate change is occurring.
"We're shaping young minds here - the last thing we need is conflicting material from a bunch of scientists," said Ms. Wilma Boyington Mason Roberts, board president.
Pope: Islam Teaching Of Conquest Same As Bible's
Addressing fears of Islamic terrorism, Pope Francis said in a recent interview, "It is true that the idea of conquest is inherent in the soul of Islam. However, it is also possible to interpret the objective in Matthew’s Gospel, where Jesus sends his disciples to all nations, in terms of the same idea of conquest."
An ISIS spokesman applauded the pontiff's statement and called on Muslims to show him mercy by "riddling him with bullets before cutting off his infidel head."
WORLD NEWS BUREAU - A handful of scientists around the United States are doing something that most people would find disturbing: creating new life forms combining human and animal DNA.
The researchers hope these creatures they've termed "mooches" could eventually help save the lives of people with a wide range of diseases but some scientists and bioethicists worry the creation of these interspecies creatures crosses the line.
"You're getting into unsettling ground that I think is damaging to our sense of humanity," says Stuart Newman, professor of cell biology and anatomy at the New York Medical College.
WORLD NEWS BUREAU - Bernie Sanders is being criticized on social media for referring to MSNBC's Rachel Maddow as a male, even though she identifies as a butch female lesbian. Hillary Clinton supporters are pointing to the politically incorrect gaffe as evidence that Sanders is "not qualified to lead in these modern times."
A Sanders spokesperson called the incident "understandable," based on the fact he'd just shared the men's restroom with Maddow minutes earlier.
WORLD NEWS BUREAU - Polling shows that a Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders ticket would be unbeatable. As Clinton edges closer to being the presumptive Democratic nominee, a building chorus from Democrats are calling on her to choose opponent Bernie Sanders as her vice presidential running mate.
"You combine Hillary's message of liking black people with Sanders's message of giving away trillions of dollars of freebies, and you've got a sure winner," said Jason Beighton, political analyst for Politics USA.
Anticipating the matchup, one entrepreneur is already offering bumper stickers (below).
Cankles and Commie 2016 - copyright worldnewsbureau.com 2016
NACHOS BELL GRANDE, Mexico - The Mexican government is warning they will punish the United States if Donald Trump is elected president and follows through on his threat to tax the estimated $20 billion that Mexicans working/drawing welfare in the U.S. send home each year.
Trump responded to the threat by asking, "What are they going to do, tell the illegals here to short-sheet our beds and misshape our hedges? Please."
Pro-Hillary PAC Paying $1 Million To Online Trolls
NEW YORK - I'm fairly certain this story is untrue, as Mrs. Clinton's decades-long record of succuss in moving our country forward speaks for itself with no need for outside help. This strong, principled female has tirelessly worked to advance middle-class families, women, minorities, and LGBT individuals in our society, while making America the safest it has ever been thanks to her efforts as one of the most successful Secretaries of State in history.
Unlike her challengers, Hillary truly cares for all people and will represent everyone fairly as the first woman president of the United States. Please join me in supporting Hillary Clinton for president - our country needs a woman's touch.
Wendy's Rolls Out Self-Serve Kiosks
UNIONTOWN, Ohio - Wendy's fast food restaurant chain has announced they are installing self-serve kiosks in over 16,000 locations.
Outrage from fast food workers and organizations promoting a $15 an hour minimum wage was immediate but quickly dissipated when Wendy's announced they will be paying the robots $19.50 an hour each, plus full medical benefits.
BLACKWOOD, New Jersey (WNB) - A Hillary Clinton supporter introducing the candidate at Camden County College on Wednesday was physically unable to say the word "God."
Camden County Freeholder Susan Shin Angulo said, "Only Hillary can bring us together as one nation...." at which point she locked up as her eyes appeared to roll back in her head. After a pause, she finally resumed with, "...indispisable (sp) with liberty and justice for all." Mrs. Clinton then inexplicably broke into waves of hysterical laughter, scaring several people in the audience (below).
The incident prompted a local Catholic priest to reach out to Angulo with an offer of a free exorcism.
LITTLE ROCK, Arkansas (WNB) - Hillary Clinton has gained a following of UFO fans because of her well-known knowledge and interest in the subject. Now, startling new information appears to explain the reason for her fascination - a personal encounter with aliens in the backwoods of Arkansas in 1979.
Sources claim Clinton told them she was abducted from her car by aliens in rural Arkansas late one night during the time her husband was governor. "She said she'd had a big fight with Bill over some bimbo and took off by herself. She was driving in the country in the middle of the night and said her car suddenly died. When she got out, a light came from a huge triangle-shaped craft above her and transported her into it where she encountered aliens who "did things to her." She said she woke up in her car an hour later covered with hickeys." In what may or may not be a coincidence, daughter Chelsea was born approximately nine months after the encounter.
If true, the incident may be connected with numerous unconfirmed reports of a large, triangular craft crashing in a heavily wooded area outside of Little Rock, Arkansas at the same approximate time in 1979. Military units immediately closed off the area, and all information related to the incident was classified, although there have been persistent rumors that several "small, vomiting gray aliens" were recovered at the scene but soon died.
MT. KISCO, New York (WNB) - Authorities in an upscale area of New York are asking the public's help in identifying a transgender male who has been frequenting a local Target store and peeping women in restrooms and changing rooms while pleasuring him/herself. The incidences began shortly after the retailer announced an open restroom/changing room policy to better accommodate the LGBT community.
Westchester County Police have released a photo of an older white male who appears to be wearing a wig (below) and are asking anyone with information on this individual to call (800) 898-TIPS (8477).
SAN DIEGO, California (WNB) - Bill Clinton was heckled while campaigning for his wife Wednesday by a woman claiming he had raped her in 1983. The former president laughed off the comment and continued, apparently unfazed (below).
INDIANAPOLIS, Indiana (WNB) - Taking a note from Donald Trump's playbook, Bernie Sanders celebrated his surprising victory in Tuesday's Indiana primary with a scathing personal attack on his opponent, Hillary Clinton, below.
WILLIAMSON, West Virginia (WNB) - Hillary Clinton was challenged by an out of work coal miner at a round table discussion Monday about comments she recently made about shutting down the coal industry should she be elected president.
The laid-off miner, Bo Copley, called Mrs. Clinton on her earlier comments, asking why he should possibly vote for her. Clinton replied that she "loves coal" and would never make such a statement. Videos of her promising to shut down the coal industry have been widely circulated for the last several weeks, likely doing little to blunt the popular perception that she is less than truthful.
KOKOMO, Indiana (WNB) - At an Indiana campaign stop, former president Bill Clinton defended his wife in the ongoing email investigation, saying she was innocent because she had no idea what a server was, and still doesn't (below).