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    President Obama and his fellow Democrats have suddenly stopped referring to Obamacare as Obamacare, in a desperate attempt to distance themselves from the apocalyptic disaster. They are now referring to it as "the Republican's insurance thing." Major media is finally acknowledging "the knockout game," where packs of feral black youths beat down isolated white individuals, usually old men. In related news, isolated armed old white men in Arizona and Texas are reportedly playing the "blow the head off the first person who tries to play the knockout game with me." So far the game has claimed several victims. Kim Kardashian appears nude in a new Kanye West rap video that many are calling the worst music video ever made. On a positive note, doctors are calling the video "a miracle drug" for individuals suffering from severe constipation. The recommended dosage is 35 seconds. President Obama presented feminist Gloria Steinem with the Presidential Medal of Freedom, for her tireless work in urging women to obstain from marriage, indulge in frequent sex with multiple partners, then killing the resultant unborn "mistake." "She should be the role model for every young girl growing up today," he said. Sean Penn raged at a fan who took his picture at the St. Regis Hotel. The actor was caught on tape screaming, "I'll make you eat that phone ... get the f*ck out of here," as he threw the camera phone to the floor. Witnesses say the frightened 3-year-old girl ran away in tears.

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