NEW YORK (BHN) - Drawing on my extensive undercover experience last year with Occupy Wall Street (here here here here here), I went deep undercover yesterday to participate in a May Day protest in New York City.
In order to blend with the crowd, I dressed in my most subversive clothes - black jeans, black tee shirt, and black hoodie (in memory of Trayvon).
10:30 AM - Location: Sara Roosevelt Park in the Lower East Side. I arrived to find hundreds of individuals already there. I was pleased to see I had correctly coordinated my outfit, as many of the protesters were dressed exactly like me!
11:15 AM - Enjoyed a hearty breakfast of Red Bulls, Vodka, and blunts the size of hippo turds with my new friends. It turns out they're in a club called "Blackblock" and that's why they dress in black. Because of my outfit, they accept me as one of their own. Cool.
1:30 PM - It's time to change the world, so we start marching down the street, yelling about how much we hate rich people and aggressively dropping f-bombs like crazy. The guy next to me kicks over a newspaper stand.
1:31 PM - Police descend on us like locusts, pulling club members out of the crowd, while the crowd tried to pull us back! I had cops yanking on my arm and both legs as about five protesters pulled on my other arm, turning me into a Blackblock Stretch Armstrong.
6:45 PM - After being treated for severely dislocated limbs then booked on a charge of resisting arrest, I'm released from jail. The end.
Note: A special thanks to my girlfriend Sissy for typing this for me, and helping me in the bathroom, getting dressed, etc.