BIG HAIRY NEWS EXCLUSIVE - Newly discovered information casts further doubt on the Obama administration's claim it originally did not know the Benghazi embassy was attacked by terrorists.
Evidence anonymously released Friday indicates the White House knew the true nature of the attack, literally within an hour of the tragic event.
The following is a transcript of a telephone call received at the White House on September 12th at 6:32 AM:
White House operator (WH) - Hello, White House operator, may I help you?
Caller - Yes, I be the terrorist leader of group that keel everyone and burn up feelthy American building just now.
WH - May I ask where you are calling from, Mr. Terrorist?
Caller - Benghazi, Libya you infidel! Make sure we get credit - this attack not because of that Muhammad movie! We are terrorists!
WH - What's the weather like in Libya? It's just starting to cool off here...
Caller - It's very pleasant, especially near the flames of your burning embassy. They say it may rain tomorrow.
WH - That's nice. I'll make sure and relay the message that you terrorists were responsible for the attack, not that stupid movie.
Caller - Thank you very much and DEATH TO AMERICA!! Halalalalala!!
Unconfirmed reports claim Hillary Clinton is secretly responsible for the release of this transcript, in a behind-the-scenes effort to safeguard her anticipated 2016 presidential run.