Human-Animal Embryo Study Wins Approval

LONDON - Plans to allow British scientists to create human-animal embryos are expected to be approved tomorrow by the government's fertility regulator.

Researchers want to create hybrid embryos by merging human cells with animal eggs, in the hope they will be able to extract valuable embryonic stem cells from them. Many believe the resulting creatures would make great pets, as long as they don't manifest aggressive tendencies.

Researchers provided Scooter's Report with a rendition of the proposed creature:

Comments

[Psycmeistr]

Hey Scooter--we need a status update on Peace Moonbeam.

It's been too long since we've heard from her!

Scooter: She's doing fine, dating some college professor and doing part-time work for PETA.
Supposedly she is going to work for Hillary's campaign and publish a weekly diary, but I'll believe it when I see it.

Scooter peace out.

PS: Also, she looks kinda fat.

[syncrodox]

Scooter

Sure! Of course you know The View is the impetus for our favorite dwinking game. Since the demise of Rosie (woooheee them days were tough) we're working on new rules. Anyways, the basics kick in when you call the following:

Scientifically impossible= 2 drinks
physically impossible=4 drinks
Impossible to pwonounce=6 drinks
logically impossible=10 drinks
A salient point= All the booze in the house (this is considered a snooker and can only be declared by the contestant who doesn't spew the previously consumed medicinal compound from their nose).

Syncro

p.s. I got a snooker once but must admit it was the product of an exceptionally pwoductive day by Bawawa and I was passed out when Rosie took the floor.

Scooter: This doesn't seem like a very healthy pastime. In our country we play Monopoly.

Scooter peace out.

[Chelsy Clinton]

That is to my mother!! Don't you think a girl knows her mother,you barbarian.Take that picture down or you'll hear from my father.

Scooter: It's what I said - it's not your mother, it's the British human-animal thingy.
You're a little slow, aren't you?

Scooter peace out.

[syncrodox]

Ingrid

Relax would ya. The ones that won't fight hard enough are a little tough to skin but easy to gut (not much there). Now I've been experimenting with a few recipes and dill weed seems to be the key.

Anyways, would you like to come over for supper sometime?

Syncro

p.s. Scooter

I love the view and think Whoopi is gonna be great for comic relief!!!!

Scooter: Maybe we can watch The View together sometime.

Scooter peace out.

[Ingrid Newkirk]

I find this unbelievably horrendous you filthy anima..er..animal haters! Can't you primitives see she/he's in pain? And what might that stain be under her chin? Urine? Human urine, animal urine? SICK! SICK! SICK! Where is her/his litter box? At the very least she/he should have some shredded documents to poo on. And who is the pig..er..republican that put the lipstick on him/her? HUH? You think that's funny? Why not just put a tie/dyed t-shirt on her/him and put a joint in her/his mouth, oh, that would be a riot, real funny huh?

I demand I be told RIGHT NOW where this poor innocent creature is! Law suit, I tell you, LAW SUIT!!!!

Ingrid Newkirk

I'm not letting this go you creeps, you will hear from my lawyer, I don't bluff, I DON'T BLUFF.

Scooter: Hey, I'm PETA all the way. Go talk to the Brits, it's their creation.

Scooter peace out.

[Chelsy Clinton]

That's my mother !! leave her alone you baboons.

Scooter: That's not your mother, that's the new British human-animal thingy.

Scooter peace out.

[jainphx]

How did you manage to score baby pictures of Shillery. Your reportage impresses me. Look what electrolysis can do for the ugly among us, and you know who you are, if only we could get pictures of the rest of the Democrap slate,we could prove Darwin was partially right,or should I say left.

Scooter: I don't understand all this talk about "Shrillery," it's a human-animal.

Scooter peace out.

[syncrodox]

Scooter

What the hell is that? It looks something like what we have up here, leftarderines (vicious little buggers). Could it be a demoweasel?

Anyways, maybe I'll start a kennel to breed and fight the nasty little critters to the death. I'm sure I can find someone on The View to defend my actions on a cultural basis. (frozen synapses and all that).

http://www.tmz.com/2007/09/04/who-is-the-latest-michael-vick-defender/

Syncro

Scooter: Yeah, there's always some Godless, intellectually-challenged, weird-looking woman (or reasonable facsimile) on the view to stand up for the truth.
I like it because it makes conservatives like you crazy.

Scooter peace out.

[TeresasereT]

Does your picture show the butt end or the face end of the creature? It's hard to tell in that photo.

Scooter: The researchers didn't say, but I would guess we're looking at the anal area.

Scooter peace out.

[1sttofight]

Well the child does have your eyes and hair, Scooter.

Scooter: But I suspect it has your DNA. I'm 97% positive about this.

Scooter peace out.

[Wm H]

Run for your lives, Scooter let his kid out to play and now the thing is running loose in the neighborhood, eating pets, climing trees.......

Scooter just what was it you mated with that created this....this......whatever it is?

Scooter: You'll have to ask the British researchers those questions.

Scooter peace out.