Bin Laden Back!
A new tape has surfaced reportedly showing Osama Bin Laden taunting the U.S.
Although this is the first publicly released tape since 2004 showing Bin Laden, there have been numerous unsubstantuated sightings of the elusive terrorist over the last few years, despite our government's intensive efforts to track him down. Here's just a few:
Hold up there Scooter! You got me all wrong, I was just trying to help this young pup out by giving him this assignment. Ice Road Truckers being one of the top ranking shows on the History channel has the viewing audiance abuzz with wanting to know more.
Think about it, have we ever acually seen an 18 wheeler hit the drink, or the drivers reaction. his finale words(other then o'chit) his prayers? NO! This is an opertunity of a life time for young HA.
Think of it, Perry White giving young Jummy Olsen (inexperianced cub wnatta be) a chance to make a name for himself as a top MSM investagtive gum shoe, it will keep him to busy to try and get in Lois's panties and Superman (YOU) won't be kicking his butt for it.
Who knows where this could go, maybe young HA will go on to win the Noble Peace Prize or something and pull a hell of alot of triffic to you floundering Scooter's Repot site, Thus saving the day and getting the creditors off your sorry azz.
Now am I a thinking report or what!
P.S.
Dang! I amaze myself some times.
Scooter: Unfortunately, it's all too clear you are hoping HA goes to the bottom of the lake in the cab of a big frozen truck with some inbred human popsycle, so you can have the cub reporter job to yourself. Nice try.
Scooter peace out.
Posted by:Wm H | September 09, 2007 at 11:30 AM
You know I just noticed,Osama (if not dead already)has so little time left after the kiss from Witch O'Rosie. I would prefer dying in a cave at Tora Bora,but thats just me.
Scooter: I found that photo to be the most shocking, too.
Scooter peace out.
Posted by:jainphx | September 09, 2007 at 09:43 AM
WmH and Ha
Excellent idea! Word here in Cowtown is that the ice is exceptionally thick, the seals are exceedingly abundant and the polar bears are practically starving for media attention. (after Al's opus they all think they're due for an "up close and personal".)
The story possibilities are endless. What could go wrong?
Syncro
p.s. I could hook you up with a long haul ice trucker by the name of Celmo Muckridge who is an absolute authority on all things ice and bear related,(He packs away three 26ers of Polar Ice a day!!!) and is always looking for a swamper to run the icy gauntlet.
p.s.s. Always happy to help.
Scooter: I'll remind all of you that only I dispatch cub reporters. If I find a good cub reporter, I'll dispatch him or her to the proper place.
Scooter peace out.
Posted by:syncrodox | September 08, 2007 at 08:33 PM
Ha HygeneA, good thing I caught you before you slipped out of the office heading for the bar. Scooter has left for the weekend leaving me in charge (beings I am the senior Cub reporter). I have an assignment for you, but I'm not sure your man enough to handel it, but if you do Scooter might put you on the payroll when when he gets back.
I need you to catch a flight up to Yellow Knife, hire on with those ice road truckers and do an indepth story about what they do whenever they fall through the ice... maybe something along the envirolmental lines, do they whack baby seals, or run over polar bears leaving them on the ice road as road kill?
Scooter: Don't fall for this old trick, HA. WmH is hoping you drown in an 18 wheeler, or at least get frostbite so you can't type.
I'll give you an assignment, should you make cub reporter.
Scooter peace out.
Posted by:Wm H | September 08, 2007 at 08:13 PM
Scooter
Good lord man!!!! While you and the cubs are debating the possible conspiracy theories regarding an obviously dead (ticker blowed up followed soon after by the aircraft) playboy pilot/adventurer, I've been following the real story regarding Osama.
http://pajamasmedia.com/xpress/michaelledeen/
It is all part of the vast right wing conspiracy!!!! Karl Rove quits the White House, infiltrates Osama's inner circle (complete with copious amounts of Grecian Formula and a recently "disgraced" Republican Senator), becomes a trusted adviser/makeover consultant (think of it as Queer Eye for The Muslim Guy) and then subcontracts Osama's big post makeover speech to some moonbat leftard blogger.
The circle is squared! Osama comes off sounding like a moderate member of the DNC with the exception of the tax thing!!! That was Rove's own little signature piece!!
Next thing you know, Fred Thompson will point out the obvious similarities between the Democratic contenders for the Presidency and Osama........ badda bing badda boom......The Billary is gettting screwed over by TVRWC once again!!!
Syncro
p.s. You havn't taken any freelance writing contracts
lately have you?
Scooter: HHmmm, interesting.
No, more than interesting, this could be really big. Stay on top of this one, Syncro, you just might get my attention.
No, I haven't contracted with anyone lately, but my eyes and wallet are open for the right talent.
Scooter peace out.
Posted by:syncrodox | September 08, 2007 at 08:13 PM
HA! I knew I had what it takes!
HA
Scooter: Don't get cocky, potential cub reporter HA. It gets in the way of the story.
Scooter peace out.
Posted by:HygeneAl | September 08, 2007 at 07:26 PM
HA HA! HA shows what little you and Scooter know. I just returned from an indepth investagation in the field and discovered that Steve Fossett is hiding out in a bunker in a top seceret locaation with Dick Cheney. I could tell you where but then I'd have to...well you know.
Word on the street is that Chaney has the missing nuke and plans to trigger it some where around Ardmore, OK. because he hates my freedom and needs to silence me before I publish my tell all book about his seceret love affair with Scooter and Obama which I happen to almost have a video of.
Thats what Sen Craig was doing in the stall at that public mens room. I hired Craig to go under cover in a stall and film everything. To bad that off duty funny cop showed up and tried to solicate Craig for sex, just ruint everthing.
Scooter: Scooter's Report is no National Inquirer, we report only the facts, not drunken fantasies. I will be forced to charge you $50K a month membership fee if you insist on reporting these falsehoods.
Scooter peace out.
Posted by: | September 08, 2007 at 06:20 PM
...................................NEWS FLASH..................................
Steve Fossett is a billionaire zillionaire. He got his sorry butt lost and is likely hurt somewhere. Politicians kiss baby face cheeks and rich men's butt cheeks. They also order the military around cause it makes them feel like big shots and because the military needs something to do from time to time.
End of Story.
HA
Cub Reporter
Scooter: Not bad, not bad. I like how you created excitement without diluting the essence of the story.
Nice work, possible future cub reporter HA.
Scooter peace out.
Posted by:HygeneAl | September 08, 2007 at 04:56 PM
BREAKING NEWS HOT OFF THE PRESS!
by the worlds #1 cubbies report
~Wm H~
THEY ARE *NOT* LOOKING FOR FOSSETT, HE IS NOT MISSING, THEY KNOW EXACTLY WHERE HE IS.... THEY ARE USING HIM AS A COVER STORY... THEY ARE LOOKING FOR A MISSING 150 KILOTON NUKE!
Ok....
Something just occurred to me....
On Aug. 30th we had the B-52 nuke incident, no one knows for sure if there were 5 or 6 nukes yet.
If there were 6 ONE IS MISSING
On Sept. 3rd, we are being told that a famous man went missing... a highly connected famous man.
for days they have been searching for him.....
OR HAVE THEY?
This all just hit me when I was watching the news for the first time in about two weeks, and I heard them say that the MILITARY is helping to look for this Fossett guy.
WHAT? The Military????
It was then that it hit me....
THEY ARE LOOKING FOR THE MISSING NUKE!
Nevada Guard Aids Search for Missing Pilot Fossett
Air Force units assist in search for adventurer Steve Fossett
COME ON, THERE IS NO WAY THAT THIS IS ALL FOR SOME GUY!!
They even have GOOGLE searching for the guy FROM SPACE!!
Mark my words.... THEY ARE LOOKING FOR A MISSING NUKE.
This Fossett guy is ONLY missing because they needed a cover story... they had to find a way to explain all of the military planes that were going to be flying around over Nevada.
They needed a good excuse and VOILA... Fossett provided it!!
As soon as they locate the nuke, they will produce the set up "crash" scene!
Right now that man is in a bunker somewhere with his plane hidden inside or underneath of a mountain being held in safe keeping away from public eyes until they find what they are really looking for......... A MISSING 150 KILOTON NUCLEAR WEAPON!!
and then they will take him out to some remote location and set up the "crash" scene.... or, there is a chance that Fossett is in on this whole thing and that he volunteered to "disappear" for a few days into some government bunker so that he could play a part in saving the country from being nuked.
In which case he will show up in a week or two with some heroic story of survival and everyone will be amazed that he made it.
I don't know why it took me so long to get this one but...
they are DEFINITELY NOT looking for a missing man using ALL of these military resources and EVEN going as far as to have satellites searching FROM SPACE....
THEY ARE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING THAT HAS TO DO WITH MATTERS OF NATIONAL SECURITY.... mark my words.
(lets see you top this Scooter and HA)
Scooter: So what are you trying to say? Please be clear.
Scooter peace out.
Posted by:Wm H | September 08, 2007 at 03:52 PM
SPORTS NEWS:
Just who the hell picked Michigan as #5 in the Pre-Season Poll?
Just shows exactly what those polls are worth.
For those of you who don't know, Oregon is STOMPING Michigan 39-7 at the start of the 4th Qtr.
Scooter: We don't have a sports section. Sorry.
Scooter peace out.
Posted by:1sttofight | September 08, 2007 at 03:37 PM
"none of the other cubbys" WTF!
Who you calling a cubbys, prick nose? I fling a booger at you. May the fleas of goats bit your rectum. Allah will surely rot your crotch with cooties. May your childen be born with Scooter hair. Sorry about that one Scooter but you must admit it does look like a carrot top and makes for excellent insult material.
Scooter: Okay, just calm down. HA may be cub reporter material and has every right as such to refer to past cub reporters as "cubbys," although the proper term is "cubbies" (he's still learning).
Scooter peace out.
Posted by:Wm H | September 08, 2007 at 06:24 AM
This is the home of Saudi Prince Bandar bin Sultan bin Abdulaziz, I guess "cave" is subject to religious interpretation:
http://www.denverpost.com/allewis/ci_4565701
Also, and I don't want to be nitpicking here, but isn't "Corian" countertop material invented in America? Used in a sentence, "Hey Obama Abdula, did you read in the countertop where we are suppose to murder any man, woman, child or newborn who rejects our holy countertop"?
That can't be right, can it? But it occurs to me that this is an offshoot sec of an offshoot sec perhaps, hard to say.
HA
I'm thinking about becoming a reporter too, none of the other cubbys picked up on this and I've alwasy had an interest in righting.
HA "Cub reporter", I LIKE IT!
Scooter: HygeneAl, you may have what it takes to be a cub reporter, but I think you're mistaken about the Corian which is the Muslim holy book (I should know, I was Muslim for almost several weeks). Countertop material is called Formica.
Feel free to submit a sample news story and your $25 submission fee and I'll see if you're cub reporter material.
Scooter peace out.
Posted by:HygeneAl | September 08, 2007 at 05:27 AM
No taxes in islam? Who's head do I have to chop off?
Sign me up.
HA
Er...I don't have to live in a cave, do I?
Scooter: All Islamites have to live in caves, it's in the Corian.
Scooter peace out.
Posted by:HygeneAl | September 07, 2007 at 06:27 PM
Not only is Obama stinky, his wife is said to have ordered some of that male enhancing stuff that Scooter has to use because here lately he has just not been UP to his wifes needs.
Now that I think about it, Obama and Scooter seem to have a lot of things in common, smelly, non preforming, not very smart, keeps repeating the same thing over and over other than Obama has actually been with a real woman, not the blow up kind Scooter has to cuddle with.
Stick Scooter in a high preformance tanning booth for a couple of days, trim that ugly head of hair, kink up what was left and they could pass as twins.
Scooter: So what are you trying to say?
Scooter peace out.
Posted by:1sttofight | September 07, 2007 at 06:13 PM
Why shouldn't Obama make a video,hes running for president ain't he. I would advise him to take a shower though,his wife and daughters say hes stinky,can't have that.
Scooter: You may have confused Osama with Hussein Obama. One of them is a terrorist, the other is something else.
Scooter peace out.
Posted by:jainphx | September 07, 2007 at 05:32 PM