Spears to Lose Temporary Custody of Kids

LOS ANGELES — Britney Spears will temporarily lose custody of her two toddler sons to ex-husband and hip-hop legend Kevin Federline, my sources tell me.

Commissioner Scott Gordon will order the boys turned over to Federline based on information that Los Angeles Family Court received over the weekend about Spear's excessive nudity, alcohol/drug abuse, and general skankiness.

More on this as it develops.

Comments

[Teresa]

Paid? Did he say "paid" ????

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Scooter: Unfortunately HA is jumping to conclusions, I do not pay cub reporters in training.

Scooter peace out.

[Wm H]

Great first attempt as a paid cub reporter in training there HA, but being inexperianced and not really having a nose for news, you forgot to look for the story behind the story. Had you done so, you would have discovered that Sen. Chambers filed his lawsuit against G_d out of anger. It seems he felt he had been shorted when willies were passed out resulting in any attempt to engage in toe tapping with occupants in other stalls of the nations public mens rooms, he was if not bodyly thrown out, he was subjected to public humulation when his peers would break out in laughter at his smallness.....

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Scooter: I don't believe this is true.
Scooter peace out.

[HygeneAl]

State Sen. Ernie Chambers Sues God
OMAHA, Neb -- State Sen. Ernie Chambers is suing God. Chambers said senators periodically have offered bills prohibiting the filing of certain types of suits. He said his main objection is that the constitution requires that the doors to the courthouse be open to all.

"Thus anybody can file a lawsuit against anybody -- even God," Chambers said. In the lawsuit, Chambers said he's tried to contact God numerous times.

"Plaintiff, despite reasonable efforts to effectuate personal service upon defendant 'Come out, come out, wherever you are,' has been unable to do so,'" Chambers said.

Just 2 hours after the lawsuit was filed, Chambers neighbors reported what appears to be tens of thousands of frogs falling from the sky onto his house and amazingly enough, only his house. One witness said, “The smell and the noise of the frogs is absolutely atrocious, almost as bad as some of the rap music that gets played around here”.

Chambers was reportedly seen half dressed, limping into the emergency ward of St. Luke’s Hospital with what looked like huge, open boils all over his buttocks, moaning something to himself that sounded like, “…only kidding God…only kidding…gee”. He was also reportedly covered with what appeared to be flies and gnats. Later that night, he was arrested (specifically, a citizens arrest by a Jehovah’s Witness), for indecent exposure for limping down Main Street wearing only a hospital gown that was fully open in the back, all in all, he said he is considering seriously removing the lawsuit against God and suing the devil, saying, “Couldn’t be any worse than suing God, Holy Moses, my butt is sore!”.

HA (paid Cub reporter in training, yes PAID, oh yeah, that's what I'm talking about, that's what I'm talking about!!!)

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Scooter: HA, I saw this "God lawsuit" story, and I don't remember some of your details.
I hope you aren't playing fast and loose with the facts, as nothing would end a promising cub reporter's career quicker....

Scooter peace out.

[Wm H]

Thanks for your coverage on this heart shattering story Scooter, but being the cub you are, you faid to catch all the action in your premature rush to deadline.

Perps, here is the rest of the story.

After much sceaming and trying to kick Child Protection Officers as they carried the nearly nude, unbathed and hungry children away, Spears stated "You M&$%#@*%$#@^%'s don't know me, this is all B&%%#@&$", after taking another swig of Wild Rooster she added " I is a perfect mama."

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Scooter: I think this is an untrue embellishment of the true story. Why am I not surprised?

Scooter peace out.