Petraeus Report, Dems Cry Foul
WASHINGTON - In long-awaited testimony, Gen. David Petraeus told Congress on Monday last winter's buildup of U.S. troops had met its military objectives "in large measure." As a result, he told a congressional hearing and a nationwide television audience, "I believe that we will be able to reduce our forces to the pre-surge level ... by next summer without jeopardizing the security gains we have fought so hard to achieve."
Several hours before the report, Sen. Harry Reid (D-Nev) released a statement saying "After hearing this report, I am convinced Gen. Petraeus is a lier. I know for certain we have lost the war in Iraq, as well as several others. I've become a Muslim"
Reid's opinion was echoed by Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-Ca) who told reporters "Petraeus is a filthy lier and baby killer. We have been defeated and need to accept that fact. Allahu Akbar."
Commentary: This debate is obviously not over.
BREAKING INTERNATIONAL lIQUOR, PORN AND HO NEWS................................................................................................................................................................................
"Chief Warren Riley of the New Orleans Police Department announced this morning that all German Shepherd police dogs will be replaced by coon dogs, due to the fact that the city is not having any problems with Germans."
Mayor Nagin is reviewing the matter....
Stay tuned to this site for further updates.
International Liquor, Ho and Porn Super Reporter
1sttofight reporting
Scooter: Scooter's Report does not allow racist humor or anything that could be remotely considered 'bad taste.' Please ban yourself for no less than two weeks.
Scooter peace out.
Posted by:1sttofight | September 11, 2007 at 03:27 PM
Hey Boss,
Mr. Scooter sir, I did as you wanted and uncovered some dirt on another Republician Senator. I went to my buddy Larry Flynt for help and he supplied me with world class dirt on Vitter. Larry also publishes a mean girly magizine if you know what I mean. Pick up a copy next time your at Pepe's Adult Porn and auto body shop. You'll be glad you did...hehehe.
Did I do go or what...man I supprise myself some times. Do I get the job now huh huh?
BREAKING NEWS ALERT!!! TO HOT FOR MSM!!!
Flynt Unveiling More Vitter Claims
A former New Orleans prostitute who says she had an affair with Sen. David Vitter has passed a lie-detector test and will provide details of the four-month relationship at a press conference Tuesday, according to Hustler magazine publisher Larry Flynt. Wendy Cortez, whose real name is Wendy Ellis, says she had a sexual relationship with Vitter, R-La., in 1999, when he was a state legislator.
http://www.americanchronicle.com/articles/viewArticle.asp?articleID=37357
Scooter: Unfortunately, I've been sitting on this story for over 2 months as it just doesn't have the drama of a good homo-restroom tale.
Scooter peace out.
Posted by:Wm H | September 11, 2007 at 02:37 PM
Something is not quit right in that photo of Sen. Harry Reid, but what? Shouldn't he be wearing a burka, and where are all these Congress critters getting those special weapons with orange tips? I thought those were reserved for The Pink Pistols crowd.......oh I get it these dudes are toe tapping United States Senators which is very simuler to the pink pistol packing crowd.
Scooter: You answered your own question. Not correctly, but you did come up with an answer.
Scooter peace out.
Scooter peace out.
Posted by:Wm H | September 11, 2007 at 06:32 AM