Scooter's Report

Obama Warns North Korea

WASHINGTON (SR) - The White House released a statement Wednesday warning North Korea that firing a missile for any purpose would be a "provocative act" that would have dire consequences.

The statement said in part: "We have made it very clear that if the North Koreans pursue this pathway, we will insist on reviving protracted six-party talks in Pyongyang, obviously requiring a very lengthy stay in North Korea for Secretary of State Hillary Clinton."

A North Korean spokesperson called the statement a "provocation of war," and said "the DPRK will not be intimidated by the threat of any U.S. hostile action, including an extended visit by Mrs. Clinton." 

 

Obama plays hardball with Kim Jong Ill

EU: Obama Stimulus Plan Is "The Road To Hell"

BRUSSELS (SR) - The head of the European Union, Mirek Topolanek, slammed President Barack Obama's plan to spend nearly $2 trillion to push the U.S. economy out of recession as "the road to hell."

"Even an ex-crackhead community organizer should know that trying to repair an economy by spending trillions you don't have is idiocy," said Topolanek.

The blunt comments by the Czech Prime Minister to the European Parliament on Wednesday highlighted simmering European differences with Washington ahead of a key summit next week on fixing the world economy.

Obama insisted Tuesday that his massive and bloated budget proposal will put the ailing U.S. economy back on its feet. "Borrowing trillions of dollars for temporary building and pork projects just makes sense to me," he said, "because it lays the foundation for a secure and lasting prosperity, at least until we have to pay it back."

 

President Obama defends stimulus plan

Obama Video Begs Iran For Forgiveness

TEHRAN (SR) - Iran reacted to President Barack Obama's new video message to the Iranian people on Friday, saying it welcomed the groveling but warned that decades of mistrust can't easily be erased, at least cheaply.

In the video, which has Farsi subtitles, Obama said the U.S. is prepared to beg for forgiveness for the hundreds of Americans that have "interfered with Iranian shrapnel trajectories" over the years.

But in the first government reaction to the video, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's press adviser said, "Impotent pleadings will not end the differences" between Tehran and Washington.

"Obama has talked of change but has taken no practical measures to address America's past mistakes in Iran, said Ali Akbar Javanfekr. "If Mr. Obama takes concrete actions like converting America into a Muslim country and giving us Iraq, maybe we'll talk. Until then, he can suck it."

 

President Obama addresses Iran in video 

Pelosi Calls Illegals "Very, Very Patriotic"

WASHINGTON (SR) - House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, speaking to a group that included many illegal immigrants and their families, called them "very, very patriotic," and declared U.S. immigration laws as being "un-American."

"Gringo laws muy bad-o," the politician told the raucous crowd. "Mexicanos who sneak-o into America muy, muy patriotic-o."

In addition to slamming the U.S. immigration laws, Pelosi called INS agents "Nazis," and promised the Obama administration would "soon fix the problem."

Madame Speaker closed by pledging free health care and subsidized housing to "anyone of Mexican decent." In response, the cheering crowd hoisted the beaming Pelosi on their shoulders and carried her down the street before bodyguards were able to rush her from the scene.

Pelosi staffers refused to comment on reports the politician was sexual violated and had her purse and jewelry stolen in the celebration.

 

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi addresses illegal immigrants

China "Worried" About "Ex-Crackhead" Obama

BEIJING (SR) - Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao expressed concern Friday about its massive holdings of Treasuries and other U.S. debt, appealing to Washington to safeguard their value.

"We have made a huge amount of loans to the United States. Of course we are concerned about the safety of our assets now that the country is being run by a socialist ex-crackhead. To be honest, I'm a little bit worried," Wen said at a news conference. "I would like to call on the United States to honor its words, stay a capitalist nation, keep Obama away from the pipe, and ensure the safety of Chinese assets."

 

Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao with photo of Obama smoking crack

John Kerry: No New Climate Taxes Is Suicide

COPENHAGEN (SR) - World renown meteorologist and decorated Vietnam war veteran, Democrat Senator John Kerry, warned Wednesday that deferring costly actions to combat climate change because of the global economic slump amounted to "a mutual suicide pact."

"Climate change is not governed by a recession, it's governed by what Al Gore says is happening to the earth, and that's more than reason enough to plunge the world into a bottomless depression," said the Vietnam war veteran.

Republican Senator Lamar Alexander, who sits on the Senate Environment and Public Works Committee, warned against imposing a cap-and-trade system because it amounts to additional needless taxes on individuals who are already suffering economically.

"Now is not the time to put a national sales tax on every electric bill and every gasoline purchase," Alexander said of cap-and-trade, which aims to create financial incentives to fight pollution.

"Al Gore is an imbecile and it's not surprising John Kerry would idolize him," said the Republican Senator. "Let those two mental midgets fight global warming, the rest of us have real problems to deal with."

 

John Kerry (right, file photo)

Obama: Killing Embryos Not Moral Issue

WASHINGTON (SR) - President Obama on Monday signed an order allowing federal funding for embryonic stem cell research, a move he said rejects the "false choice" between science and morality, leading some people to question whether the President realizes that embryos are, in fact, human babies or that the killing of these babies might present a moral dilemma to some individuals who believe killing babies is bad thing.

House Minority Leader John Boehner issued a written statement immediately after the signing accusing Obama of being a "Godless liberal obsessed with killing America's unborn children through unchecked federally funded abortion, and now death science-for-profit."

An Obama spokesman fired back, saying, "Calling embryos unborn babies falsely implies that this research kills unborn babies. This research kills embryos, not unborn babies."

Harry Reid Proposes "Green" Electric Grid

WASHINGTON (SR) - Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid of Nevada announced his proposal Thursday to create a huge network of special power lines to carry renewable energy—like solar and wind power.

Reid's plan calls for the "green" lines to be manufactured from non-strip mined copper and free range-grown hemp, and routed all over God's creation to every bloated federally funded solar cell and windmill farm.

"We need special lines for this special electricity," Reid told reporters. "This will insure we don't co-mingle green and non-green electricity, but it won't be cheap - nobody said saving the planet would be."

When asked why spending billions of dollars for redundant electric lines made sense in these tough economic times, Senator Reid stuttered briefly, stared into space, and was finally led away amid an odor described as "something burning." The question remained unanswered.

 

Harry Reid contemplates difficult question at press conference

Brits: "Michelle Obama Probably Behind Insults"

LONDON (SR) - After President Obama's double insult to Britain - first the sending back of the Winston Churchill bust, then his snub to Gordon Brown, many here believe it was First Lady Michelle Obama that influenced these disgraceful actions.

The Telegraph today reports "At the moment in Britain, we're still in the "Doesn't she look fabulous in a designer frock" stage of understanding of Michelle Obama. Gradually, though, we'll begin to realise that she is every bit the terrifying executive's wife that Hillary Clinton was."

The story goes on to expose Michelle through her writings and statements as an insecure racist who vainly sought to portray herself as a victim, even while attending prestigious Princeton university in the company of fawning professors and classmates she described as "liberal and open-minded."

The article concludes by saying, "Her broad-brush view of history associates Brits with the wicked white global hegemony responsible for the slave trade. Mrs. Obama, if it makes you feel any better, your ancestors were most probably left alone, as only male and female humans were taken to be slaves."  Ouch!

 

UK Telegraph: Michelle Obama ancestors weren't slaves