Plague, 100 Days Of Suck, Dems Gain Another Loser

Hello reader(s), let's see what's going on today:

• Mexico Closes Federal Government. This just in: The nation of Mexico inexplicably starts functioning at a level higher than "Fetid Third World Sh*thole." Also, for some reason there were no reports today of Mexicans crossing into the U.S. - experts are baffled.

• Vice President Biden Says Avoid Planes, Subways. Well of course he did, he's got the intelligence of a cheeseburger.

• Obama Celebrates First 100 Days. If this Godless socialist pinhead could propel the world's most powerful country into bankruptcy while expanding the killing of babies, apologizing to our enemies, enlarging the welfare state, punishing success/rewarding failure, and crushing capitalism in only 100 days, just think what he can do in the remaining 1360. Let's make margaritas!

• Arlen Specter Becomes Democrat. He said he changed parties because the latest polls said he couldn't beat his challenger - yep, that's the kind of chiseled principals I look for in a leader. Hey Arlen here's $20, go buy yourself a spine you gutless parasite. 

That's enough, I'm going to kill myself now.

  

 

Mexican capitol closed                    Obama celebrates                     Arlen Specter