Hello faithful reader(s), here's what's up:
- Justice Souter Retiring. He says he loves his job, but hates Washington. Who can blame him? If some slacker ex-crackhead mentored by terrorists and commies moved down the street from me, I'd move to someplace better too - like maybe somewhere in Somalia...
- Michelle Obama Volunteers In $540 Tennis Shoes. Posing briefly for a photo-op at a downtown soup kitchen, Michelle really stood out from the unwashed masses with her "Rich Rap Star With No Taste" look. Said one man in line, "She looked like a cross between "Lil Momma" and some prehistoric beast."
- Egypt Killed All Their Pigs. Those crazy Arabs Killed over 300,000 pigs to prevent the transmission of Swine Flu, even though the disease is carried only by people, not pigs. "Holy crap, why did the Mexicans call it 'Swine' flu then?" asked the politician responsible for the action. "Those beaners owe us a sh*tload of pigs."
On a side note, Pepe finally came down with the Swine Flu or something similar. After like 14 margaritas last night he started crawling around the floor naked making weird grunting noises. He then ate a cat toy, pooped all over that throw rug his grandmother made, then finally passed out in the backyard. He also smelled almost exactly like a pig, if pigs wore TAG Body Spray. Please join me in praying for his recovery.
Click Pic, dummy
