Good morning reader(s).
Demonstrating that no good deed goes unpunished, I was incredibly disappointed by the response I received from one of the Democrat politicians I sent a present to yesterday.
It's sad when you try to do a good thing simply for the sake of making another person happy, but because his or her own heart is so dark and bitter, the recipient of the unselfish gesture is compelled to see it as something sinister. Sad.
What I'm referring to is this reply I received this morning from Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi in regards to the great shirt I so graciously made and sent her:
Dear Mr. Van Neuter,
How clever you must think you are, sending me that shirt.
Either you are extremely ignorant of my position of power (Third from the Presidency) relative to your own (which is none), or are simply disrespectful. Because you are a self-avowed conservative (spit), I would assume it is the latter, despite the accompanying letter proclaiming this gift to be one of "friendship" (spit spit).
I wasn't born yesterday, Scooter (if that's your real name, and if it is, your mom hated you), and I WILL NOT BE MADE SPORT OF BY THE LIKES OF YOU.
I hereby demand you make amends for this twisted attempt to ridicule me by immediately sending me a letter of profound apology, and a shirt in my proper size which IS NOT LARGE, IT IS MEDIUM, you WORTHLESS LITTLE PUKE.
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi
PS: Also please send me one in white if you have it.
You know, I would have sent her a medium if she would have asked nice, but now you better bet this commie b*tch is getting an XXL that I've wiped my butt on.