SAN FRANCISCO (SR) - California Governor Arnold Schwarzenagger unveiled a map Thursday illustrating how his state would be affected by climate change in the future.
The map, demonstrating the devastating effects of global warming in just a century, shows how San Francisco Airport would be completely underwater if all the world's ice melted and it rained nonstop for 12 years, raising the sea level by 60 inches.
"De aroplens wud not be able to tak off," a somber Schwarzenegger told reporters. "Dey wud flot away wid de people and zink."
Later the governor appeared downtown at a news conference to announce a 2.2% city sales tax increase to fund no-cost swim classes for gay residents, saying the gay community's traditional aversion to swimming must be addressed now if San Francisco is to remain "vibrant."
In addition to the swim classes, the tax increase will also fund the purchase of 200 seaplanes, 4.5 million foam noodle water toys, and 85 million tons of shark repellent.
My Comments: I don't see what the big deal is; why not just make everybody shorter than 5' live away from the coast? (I figured this out and didn't even go to college!)
Let's have a few margaritas then go shopping for a bigger SUV!