RENO (SR) - In a desperate attempt to energize his base, Sen. Harry Reid has been handing out free crack cocaine and gift cards for Colt 45 Malt Liquor at his campaign events, according to reports.
Despite a Nevada law that prohibits the influencing of votes by any kind of bribe, the Democrat Secretary of State dismissed GOP complaints about Reid's vote buying, saying this week that candidates may give out free food at campaign events.
Republicans are insisting that gift cards and crack cocaine are not food, and therefore illegal, but Reid's organization disagrees.
"Crack is a type of food in that it has to be cooked," explained an unidentified Reid staffer, "and the gift cards are for drinks to go with the food. I guess the Republicans would rather have voters choke to death on dry crack rocks."
My comments: I'm leaving for Nevada immediately to personally investigate this story.