Liberal Libations

November 19, 2005

New York, NY

While it was sad leaving an enlightened country like France, we had to get back for the big party in New York put on by George Soros and MoveOn.org. I wouldn't miss this for the world! Free from the medieval conservative concepts of "morals" and "personal responsibility", we Liberals are free to really enjoy ourselves and with Ted Kennedy tending bar, who couldn't have fun? (Note: do not let him drive you home.)

All the movers and shakers were there: Babs Streisand, Maureen Dowd, Dan Rather, Our Exalted Mother Of Perpetual Peace And Publicity Sheehan (OEMOPPAPS), Michael Moore, and many other icons of forward thinking.

It turned out to be a wild party and I had a great time. After a few joints and more tequila shooters than I could count, I was feeling no pain. To my absolute delight, I found an old "troll" doll between the couch cushions probably left by someone's kid. It was just like the one I had when I was a little girl! For the next couple of hours I relived my childhood with that little doll, making a "house" for it out of pillows, having a tea party, washing its hair, etc. Unfortunately, my joy turned to embarrassment when Katie Couric pointed out that it was not a troll doll but actually White House correspondent Helen Thomas! While bathing it in the sink I had thought it was strange that it was anatomically correct (and definitely not in a "good" way). Oops, my bad!

The party ended abruptly after midnight when someone who looked like Howard Dean got all liquored-up, tore off his clothes, and urinated from the balcony. Some Bible-thumper downstairs called the police and that was the end of that party.

More later.