Peace Stampede

March 24, 2006

San Francisco, California

Antiwar protest has always been my first love, and that's what I did this week on the third anniversary of America's fascist invasion of Iraq. Scooter and I joined about a zillion other patriots in San Francisco to protest the war, Bush, capitalism, Israel, heterosexuals, fur, Christianity, SUVs, marijuana laws, meat, oil companies, Wal-Mart, and pretty much America in general.

This year, I wanted to really stand out and make a statement. I put Scooter in charge of creating outfits that would guarantee us front page coverage and rally our fellow activists. What he came up with was great: we would dress as Iraqi freedom fighters and lead the crowds in powerful anti-American chants for peace. Our costumes were very realistic, right down to the turbans and beards. The final touch was some cool fake bomb belts Scooter made that really tied the whole thing together. He also made signs for us to carry that said, "Stop Invading Us" in red paint that looked like blood. Very dramatic!

We got into our outfits and headed downtown while smoking some dynamite herb my sister sent from Hawaii. By the time we arrived, the street was filled with protesters singing, chanting, burning effigies of Bush and his gang, and generally running amok. I noticed when we jumped out of the car that the pot smoke rolled out like a heavy fog. Spacey! As we went to get our signs out of the trunk, someone yelled, "CAR BOMBERS!!" and everyone started running! I was so scared, I took off and trampled an elderly Code Pink woman and several small children. I heard Scooter yelling and turned around to see a couple of guys whacking the snot out of him with their "Gay Communist Pacifists Against Fur" signs! They didn't look like car bombers to me, but then again I don't know what car bombers look like. I ran faster.

As I fled with the crowd, I noticed everyone in front of me kept looking back at me and screaming. If I ran right, they ran left, and vice versa - I started feeling like Godzilla or something. I kept looking over my shoulder for the car bombers but the people behind me were running the other direction! Finally, I stopped when several people wearing "Car Bombers For Peace" T-shirts ran up and started hugging me. Finally, the love I expect at these events! When I figured out what had happened, I had a good laugh, then went back for Scooter, but he had been badly beaten and unfortunately arrested.

The whole incident showed how the current administration has sown so much hate and distrust, even among enlightened, intelligent people like my fellow protesters. How quick we all are these days to shun two strangers just because they appear to be of Middle Eastern descent, wearing bomb belts, and running from a smoking automobile parked among a large public gathering! What have we become?

Bush and his hatemongers have got to go.

Comments

[Adolph from Cuba]

I agree. Bush have to go and make room for Condoleeza Rice. Hopefully that will occur in 2008. :)

[beth]

I'm actually starting to feel sorry for Scooter :(

[Dane Bramage]

Peace! I think your progressive lifestlye has caught up with you! Or maybe the "work" you had done didn't take. I am talking about your picture! Or maybe you are starting a trend to have yourself made over as a progessive icon as some sort of homage.

[tblubrd]

Oh the agony of it all. Poor Scooter - so unfair. And so typical of those harlot neo-cons. And the picture - he seems so harmless!
And your picture - God what have you done? You look like Golda Meir now! Did the facelift fall off? I hope it doesn't hurt.

[jarhead john]

It's a damned shame that a perfectly good idiot had to tie up critical public resources. Sheesh. Doesn't Scooter realize that he's hopelessly doomed? He needs to accept his fate and just avoid public appearances. With his recent fame, he cannot possibly escape persecution.

Ha!

[Justthinkin]

But wasn't Herb upset at all that smoke? Oh! wrong herb! Poor Scooter. All that fuss over a belt.

[Sodium Pentothal]

LOL great stuff! Welcome to my Blogroll :)

[SeanS]

Scooter is back in jail? Let me know if you need help posting bail. It's just like those facist cops to arrest someone simply for wearing a fake bomb.

[Patrick Joubert Conlon]

I just knew you were there. In fact my spies took a pic of you and I'm going to post it.

[jgf]

It's nice to see you and Scooter getting along again. I'm glad he came to his senses!