Viva la Protest!

March 31, 2006

Los Angeles, California

This week Scooter and I were glad to lend our support to the immigrant community in their protest against proposed hateful neo-con legislation. My good friend Pepe invited Scooter and me to march with these poor people who are only seeking jobs and the opportunity to contribute to our society. Wherever you find social injustice, we're there.

We all met up at Pepe's house and prepared for the march by sampling several gigantic joints of tasty herb. He must have had a couple hundred pounds of the stuff in the garage and it was extremely moist and delicious. Afterward, Pepe took us by his uncle's restaurant and we pigged out on chimichangas and Coronas till we were almost ready to spew. We headed off to the march, eager to show the "man" that he can't abuse the rights of the underclass, nor reduce the ranks of the Democratic voting bloc.

Arriving downtown, we parked the car and joined the thousands of people in the streets. Scooter had made us signs that said, "Republicanos El Sucko." Also, in order to meet a personal need, he cleverly wrote on the back of his sign, "Yard man wanted" with a crude drawing of a stick figure pushing a lawn mower underneath, in case nobody understood English. This was a stroke of genius, as he ended up not only hiring several yard guys who could also do cement block work and painting, but also a real pretty massage girl/driver/car washer, and an elderly-but-spry maid/cook/house cleaner/dog groomer, all for only one dollar an hour each! Now that's value!

All in all, the protest was a great success, as every white person we saw appeared to be terrified. Outside of Scooter being robbed at knifepoint, we had a lot of fun and met many new friends. Even though none of them spoke English, we still enjoyed their company, not to mention a fair amount of the freshest weed we've ever smoked. The only downside of the whole thing was someone stole the wheels and radio from Scooter's car, and we had to take the bus home, but other than that, it was a great day.

 

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

April 1, 2006

                                     I AM SORRY!

I apologize for the cultural insensitivity and crass stereotypes I have employed in these stories. It was never my intent to offend ANYONE, and to all who have been offended, I'm very, very, very sorry.

I believe I owe a special apology to my Hispanic undocumented brothers and sisters for the cruel way I portrayed them in this week's story, "Viva la Protest." My suggestion that they are drug smugglers and thieves was simply wrong and inexcusable and I deeply regret it.

To Hollywood and especially the gay community, I am so very sorry for the unkind way I portrayed you. I love going to movies, and have many gay friends who are just swell.

Another area where I may have offended a group of individuals was my mocking characterizations of people of Middle Eastern descent, especially those of the Islamic faith. Unfortunately, these characterizations are true, so I can't really apologize for that.

In summary, if you have been offended by anything you have read in "The Peace Moonbeam Chronicles," I'm sorry, and I promise I WILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN. Ever.

Peace Moonbeam

                                               Not. April Fools. Bite me.

Comments

[Adolph from Cuba]

Sorry, I the part I've found hard to get the sense out of is "Republicanos El Sucko."

What does it exactly mean? :(

P. Moonbeam: Its just Scooters way of saying "Republicans Suck" in Spanish.

[GI Joe]

Loved it, Peace! Just tell 'em "SUE ME, and if you get anything, I'LL SPLIT IT WITH YOU!!

[sharlet]

Quote: "Another area where I may have offended a group of individuals was my mocking characterizations of people of Middle Eastern descent, especially those of the Islamic faith. Unfortunately, these characterizations are true, so I can't really apologize for that." <-- I can't stop laughing! Happy belated April Fools to you too!

[David Amulet]

I also helped the latino brothers out. By going to Chipotle. Eating a burrito. Yum.

Thank God for April Fools Day. I wouldn't come here if you started getting all serious.

Offend me. Please.

-- david

[jarhead john]

Once again, you provide quality entertainment, and point the finger directly toward the usual culprits.

[John the Marine]

Moonbeam! Holy Halls of Montezuma! I laughed so hard that it was necessary to go out and pistol whip an Arab just to regain my military bearing. Keep up the good work.

[Gayle]

I see you over at Patrick's all the time and this post proves I must get over here more often.

THIS IS ABSOLUTELY HYSTERICAL! lol!

My very favorite: "Republicanos El Sucko!" You are a riot! :)

[Allison]

I'm crackin' up over here!!!

[Seaspook]

My favorite part of your apology: "Not. April Fools. Bite me."

Peace, I love you!

[Jenny]

LOL! Great as usual.

[Chris K. Leavitt]

Hey, dudes, that picture in the crowd sure looked like me, enough so that I published it over at my LEAVWORLD blog. I gave you credit and a link, of course. I found you on STOP THE ACLU's open post. Great stuff!

[prying1]

Web Loafer - That one had me rolling!

[web_loafer]

We also had a 'Solidarity with Mexico' protest march here in Kansas, but it was a disaster. Dorothy from Oz,Kansas came and brought Toto her cute little dog, but sometime during our hate America protest, little Toto disappeared. Everyone joined in and searched for that little pooch, but Toto was not to be found.
On our way out of the crowd of flag waving protesters, (Mexico's flag) we stopped for a burrito. My date, (Peachy) had consumed about half of her buritto, and bit into something solid, and lo and behold it was the license and rabies tag for Toto. I had to tell Peachy to drink a few Corona's to wash the dog out of her mouth.

[beth]

Pat! Is that nice?? I mean, she's at least giving jobs to the under-employeed.....???

[Patrick Joubert Conlon]

Enough is enough. Now you've really gone over to the dark side. I can't wait for you to go to Iran and getted stoned their way.