Movie Mayhem

May 26, 2006

Los Angeles, California

What an unbelievable week we had! After scoring tickets through one of Scooter's Hollywood pals, Thursday we joined the brightest stars in Tinsel Town at what had to be the most popular show of the year! Of course I'm talking about the Hollywood premier of Al Gore's film on global warming, "Inconvenient Truth."

I had been looking forward to this event for weeks. I spent all day Thursday getting my hair done (green, symbolizing the earth, with an assortment of fresh flowers), and tie-dying a new outfit. I brought out my best sandals (Birkenstock Ottawas), and even painted my fingernails. I knew there would be plenty of press there and I really wanted to shine! Later, Scooter arrived, lookin' good in his new "Gore 2008" shirt and carrying a bottle of tequila and a bag of fresh herb, presents from our buddy Pepe. We partied hard for several hours until it was time to go.

Once inside our cab, it was apparent Scooter had drunk way too much, as he was farting and belching loudly, and generally acting like a buffoon. After he callously made fun of the cab driver's turban and accent, we were forced to walk the last five blocks to the theater. Once there, things only got worse. On the red carpet, in front of a large contingent of press, Al Gore himself was answering questions about his film. Awesome! All of a sudden, I noticed Scooter behind him, walking back and forth like Frankenstein yelling, "I'm alive! I've invented the internet!" Oh crap! I ran and hustled him into the lobby before Al saw him. Whew!

Inside I complied with Scooter's surly demands for popcorn by getting in line at the concession stand. I looked around to check on him and what I saw made me want to puke! There was Scooter urinating in a potted palm to the disgust of dozens of onlookers, including many small children! Oh good grief! I quickly pulled him into the theater and into a seat where thankfully he apparently passed out after vomiting onto the row in front of us. Great.

Finally the movie started, and everything was fine for about ten minutes until mention was made onscreen of "greenhouse gases." At this point drunken comedian and all-around pinhead Scooter ripped an angry loud fart that reverberated in the hushed theater like a sonic boom, provoking hysterical laughter from the crowd, and a heavy-handed ejection for the both of us. I have never been so embarrassed in my life! The only solace I have is the fact that Scooter really does love Al Gore, and spent the whole next day weeping like a little girl because of his misbehavior. Good.

Comments

[Adolph from Cuba]

I am sure Gore wasn't expecting that kind of gasses to be so noisely released at his premiere. Poor guy :)

[jgf]

You just can't take Scooter anywhere anymore...

[Seaspook]

See Peace, those scented suppositories you got Scooter for his birthday really were a thoughtful gift.

[Lemuel Calhoon]

What a wonderful tribute to the former Vice President!

Bully for you!

Bully for Scooter!

Where's my Winchester?

[thud]

[SeanS]

Oh Scooter. It'll be okay. Al Gore is kind and forgiving. Kinda like God, I guess.

[web_loafer]

I look forward to weekends for many reasons, including checking up on Moonbeam and Scooter. Hilarious as usual. This is one of your best. Geez it feels good to laugh out loud. Great one.
Tequila is a tongue loosener no doubt, but that potted plants days are numbered.

[Patty]

Poor, poor misunderstood Scooter. No one ever seems to understand him. If only everyone understood that bodily functions are perfectly ok in Scooters world and shared his world it would be ever so wonderful for him.

[jarhead john]

Ahhhhh, as usual, high class content! Perhaps you should start tying Scooter up in a closet before you go out on these zaney adventures.