The Liberal Art Of Nude Protest

THIS POST RATED

June 23, 2006

Berkeley, California

Okay, I'm out of my funk. Instead of reflecting on all that is going wrong in the world, my life coach told me to embrace all the positive things in my life, so I am.

Probably the most fun I've had lately was at the anti-war/anti-Bush/anti-right-wing nude bike ride in San Francisco a couple weeks ago. When it comes to social change, few things are as dramatically effective as exposing one's naughty parts in public. As a regular "Breasts Not Bombs" protester, I can personally vouch for the power of exposed appendages and the socio-political impact they have.

Scooter and I prepared for the strenuous ride by conditioning with several bowls of Pepe's finest herb, followed by some delicious brownies my sister had sent from Hawaii. Yum! Sufficiently fortified, we headed downtown. After we arrived, we unloaded the bikes, smoked a joint, ate brownies, took a nap, smoked another joint, ate some more brownies, listened to some Joan Baez on the radio, took another short nap, then got naked while we ate brownie crumbs.

We noticed many people around us had written clever sayings on their bodies with grease paint, and this (and the brownies, I suspect) inspired Scooter to new artistic heights with his own body art. While most people wore simple political sayings such as, "Bush lied..." etc., Scooter went for a more artistic depiction of his ideal scenario. He painted his mid-torso with flames like hell, and his ahhh, his "body part" as Ann Coulter! In all fairness the detail, while tiny, was incredible and up close looked just like her. The small wig he fashioned from a friend's cocker spaniel's hair completed the work once Superglued in place.

While I'm a big lover of the arts, it took me about one second to decide not to ride with Scooter after seeing this "artwork." I certainly have no hang-ups about the human body, but in my opinion Scooter just looked plain weird, and then there was the danger of other bike riders coming in close to see what was in his lap and creating an accident. Boy, was I wrong! As it turned out, Scooter was the hit of the event, and spent more time posing in front of the cameras than actually riding. Finally, in a moment of frenzied inspiration and in front of a large crowd, he set fire to his pubic hair, turning his nether regions into a kinetic work of art (he later named "Die You Bitch") that the San Francisco art world is still breathlessly talking about two weeks later.

I have new-found respect for Scooter as an activist and an artist, and can hardly wait to tell him that several galleries have sent letters expressing interest in his "work" after he's released from the burn trauma center. I just hope he still has his canvas.

 

Comments

[NakedRick]

ahhhhhhhhMB....
I get all goosecrinkly when I think of around 100 strangers gathering STARK BOLLOCKS NAKED in 57 degree weather, feeling rain hit us and really not giving a shit because if the cops could smile @ us and wave, all's good!

I had an AMAZING time w/all of you that naked day! Nothing greater than a ride or a stroll down Market Street AND Castro Street..............naked.

Until next year, you ti-nude-gress, you!
NakedRick
NudeNGayintheUSA.tv

[beth]

I just read Syncrodux' comment. It reminded me a woman we have in our town who runs for office every time there is an election for pretty much anything.

She legally changed her name to a Native name - 1st and last name the same.

She's known for going to city and county commission meetings and taking all her clothes off to protest whatever they are discussing.

I don't know why they haven't banned her from the meetings. Maybe they kinda like it. She's about 80 years old now - but still busy with her political causes.

[beth]

LOL at Pat 'tickling someone's fancy'. LOL

Sounds like y'all had a blast! At least you didn't have to use a lot of bandwidth covering Scooter's errr ... body part.

[Jeffrey Wyke]

Perhaps Helen Thomas and Scooter's John Thomas should get together (complete with matching Ann Coulter wigs, of course).

[Syncrodox]

Peace you are indeed a piece of work!! North of the 49th you are loved. Ya damn near make me wanna be an american.

We have a chick like you up here. Hedy Fry. She's running for the leadership of the Liberal party.

We affectionatly refer to her as Hot Cross Hedy. (long story) I'm thinking you two should get together.

No need to bring any herb....we're doing a fine job of cultivating it ourselves.

Anyways...peace... Peace.

Syncro

[Gayle]

Okay, Peace. You really turned yourself into a "Moonbeam" this time! HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You make these asshats look so pathetic and laughable. I absolutely love you for it!

When Scooter gets out of the hospital, would you please tell him to leave his tallywhacker alone?!

[jarhead john]

That's just wrong. Scooter needs to seek professional help.

[SeanS]

Very small "canvas". Poor Scooter. Those burn treatments are not fun.

[webloafer]

I will personally bankroll a nude bicycle protest ride.
It will be here in Kansas, December 22, 2006. It will be a 30 mile protest ride. The actual thing protested will be decided at some later day. Who knows what we will need to protest then.
Please contact me for further information.

[Seaspook]

Oh,

I forgot to ask...are those bike seats burned after the ride?

[Seaspook]

Wow Peace,

I was really excited. I thought now I will finally get to see Peace and Necked, no less. I know what Scooter looks like so I figgered OK, Peace will be the lovely wench next to him. But, nooo, you were no where near him. Well I got to see a lot of necked women, but I really hope you were not some of them cuz that would really spoil my fantasy.

[John the Marine]

Nude bike ride protest eh... Well, I don't know weather I should be excited or repulsed. I mean on the surface it sounds good, but I don't know if these are the kind of people I want to see naked. The picture of Scooter was pretty discusting, I damn near hurled. I guess I'll go down to the local strip joint to try and drive that image out of my head. A lot of beer and some good old fashion objectification of nude women should do the trick. See, ya next week kiddo.

[Patrick Joubert Conlon]

I hope the conflagration burned the Ann Coulter wig off Scooter's weenie coz that super-glue lasts a long time. Of course in San Fran that might tickle someone's fancy.