Just Say Pelosi!

November 10, 2006

San Francisco, California

Woohoo! We kicked the war-mongering neocons to the curb! Rumsfeld is toast! Congratulations have been pouring in from all over the world. Shiite cleric Moktada al-Sadr, Hugo Chavez, Hamas, numerous officials from France and the European Union, North Korea, Iran, Syria, and others all herald the outcome of this election as a great thing. Domestically, the Communist Party of America, the Socialists Party of America, The Council on American-Islamic Relations, the NAACP, and many other progressive patriotic groups are also trumpeting these elections as a turning point for America. I've never seen such an outpouring of love and support from our friends!

Sunshine and I have been celebrating for two days straight here in San Francisco with friends and local politicos including future Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi herself! At a party Thursday night I spent over three hours with this likable little liberal leftist, and had the opportunity to get a sneak preview of her vision of enlightened change for our country. To say I'm excited would be an understatement!

First and foremost, I asked her how quickly the Democrats were going to press their plan for victory in Iraq. Nancy said as soon as they think up a plan, they were going to ram it through. When questioned further, she said she was pretty sure their strategy would probably involve some sort of rapid retreat as soon as possible. "Our goal will most likely be an orderly and dignified exit like we did in Vietnam, only hopefully without the millions of people being slaughtered after we leave," she said, and after taking a long bong hit added, "I'd also like to see some sort of punishment for at least those troops who wantonly discharged firearms or disrespected Iraqis while in their country." Mrs. Pelosi also expressed a desire to slash defense spending while using the money saved to institute a welfare program for disenfranchised and/or pissed off Muslims abroad, a move sure to erase the deserved hate many Islamic extremists have for our country. After several more bong hits, I started getting a little creeped out when I realized in the smokey light she looked just like Michael Jackson, but I digress...

Probably the most exciting thing Representative Pelosi divulged was a plan to reinvigorate the pro-choice movement by introducing legislation to allow federal funding for abortion into the ninth trimester. Anybody who's ever raised a two-year-old can appreciate this effort to give women the right to choose. I personally would have gladly aborted my one-year-old if the government would have footed the bill. Also, I feel Mrs. Pelosi's desire to raise taxes on those wealthy individuals earning more than $30,000 a year, while giving those under that level total tax relief and certificates for free Church's Fried Chicken, truly exemplifies the spirit of the Democratic Party and makes me glad I'm poor. Unfortunately, her wish to burn churches and publicly torture George Bush, while admirable, probably won't happen. Hey, we can all dream.

Happy days are here again.

Comments

[Adolph from Cuba]

Gee, she actually looks like Michael Jackson, only more tanned :)

P. Moonbeam: Word on the street is that she might actually be Michael's real mother (gasp)!

[Little Miss Chatterbox]

Okay, that picture is beyond scary!!

P. Moonbeam: Just imagine what it would have looked like if I had altered it! :0

[webloafer]

My Dear Friend Peace: It is time for you to take a vacation. I don't remember you taking one for quite awhile now.

You worry and work too much darling.

Darryl Worley had a spectacular song on his last album....called....'work and worry'

You must listen to it, and think about taking some time off from your travails.

May I suggest the South Pole? Bundle up with layers of animal fur, and sheep hair (wool) and you'll have a great time. No salads, nothing but beef jerky and bourbon. Now that's a vacation to die for. Perhaps if you tidy up a bit, the USofA Air Force could fly you over one of the few outposts there, and you could parachute down to them.

I know all of the scientists, lawyers and illegal aliens at Outpost Antarctica would love you, and just between me and you, I think Scooter is hiding out there. The neat thing about the South Pole, is that everyone, men and women could be wearing a burka, and who would know.....a man from a woman?

Artic Climates are somewhere terrorists are not going to go. They prefer warm, sandy, Godforsaken deserts, and slums of large cities. I mean, how would anyone know if a man was a man, or a woman was a woman, or a female terrorist was wearing a burka......?

Think about it? There you could find what you have sought.

Equality for all, all bundled up, and even the most devout islamafacist would have to enjoy....No Skin showing. funny how the islamafacists in America, (Hollywood) wear little of nothing, and the real hard core islamafacists all wear dresses, (men) and the women burka's (garments guaranteed to hide ugliness) and they dine on goats and grits....

Whoops, I'm not sure the muslim world is ready for the ultimate soul food.....grits.

I have gone long in this comment, but please understand I want only the best for you....a vacation, and perhaps you could meet a real man, and leave the girly men behind.

Love and Kisses,

Webbie

P. Moonbeam: Dear Webbie, It has been a while since I had a vacation. Unfortunately Antartica is a little extreme for my tastes, and even though the people there sound very nice, I think I'd prefer someplace warmer, like maybe Phoenix.
BTW, Scooter is still being held at Guantanamo and Squid is still in North Korea so I really haven't been around any "girly men," or men of any type for that matter. It's just been Sunshine and myself.
Thanks for your concern for my welfare.

[beth]

Hey - you deleted the post I linked to. I thought your photo of Ms. Pelosi celebrating was brilliant!

You did do a wonderful interview with Pelosi ... but this is the stuff nightmares are made of. I think I'll go over to Patty's for a while a clear my head :)

P. Moonbeam: Sorry Beth, I forgot there were some links to that post. I should have checked before I deleted it. My bad.

[SeanS]

Church's Fried Chicken? Why not Popeye's? Is it the Cajun seasonings? Does she have something against the South? OMG! She RACIST!!! Tell Pelosi that I'll be awaiting a public apology.

P. Moonbeam: I shouldn't have to remind you that Democrats know what you need, and will help you the way you need to be helped. Pelosi apologizes to NOBODY.

[patty]

MMA Ms.
Peace I am impressed at how quickly you got to the core of the matters of the heart of the third left.
Nancy's posse must hurry and get a plan.
I suspect some of those nastly Dino's I have spoken of before will upsert her if she doesn't show her strength to keep them in line.
MMPMMA

P. Moonbeam: Oh she'll show her strength alright. Many people don't know she was a cage fighter in her younger days, and is tough as she is beautiful.

[Seaspook]

Wow, I never noticed Nancy's resemblence to Michael before. What insight you have Peace.

P. Moonbeam: Thank you Seaspook, it's what I do.

[1sttofight]

My lawyer, Mr. Hangmhy, of the lawfirm, Cheatum, Fleeceum and Screwum, will be in contact with you before the sun goes down today.
Mr. Winky has died and the girls are going to sue your butt off.
I know it will be a large judgement, but they can handle it.

P. Moonbeam: Your fancy lawyer doesn't scare me. Besides, once he finds out I've got exactly $126.33 in my account, he'll be history.
Hey, let's settle out of court. I'll send you $25.00 and two circus tickets to forget about the whole thing, butthole.

[WTR]

That picture will give me nightmares...for the next 2 years, I bet.

P. Moonbeam: I know what you mean. Originally I was going to alter the photo to make her look funny, then decided against it. I don't want to hurt anyone.

[Wm H]

This is scary.