A Liberal Loss of Faith

May 2, 2008

Berkeley, California

Something strange happened the other day. Scooter and I were hanging out at Pepe's place, doing some mushrooms and tequila while celebrating the absolute certainty that there will soon be a Democrat in the White House. Pepe had CNN on and we were watching Barack Hussein reply to the latest wacko statements made by his ex-minister. In rebuking the man Obama had recently referred to as a "father figure," Barack not only threw Dad under the bus, but backed over him repeatedly until all that remained was a putrid stain on the pavement. I thought this was a good move by Hussein, but Scooter evidently thought otherwise.

Obviously still pissed-off over Barack's firing him, a drunken Scooter angrily dismissed Obama's actions and said he hoped Hillary would "club him like a baby seal." This prompted an even-drunker Pepe to proclaim that "only a fool would think that a lying phony with huge calves like Hillary would ever deserve to be elected President." Over the next hour, these two pinnacles of political intelligence argued over which of their two candidates were the phoniest and most dishonest. Finally I had to diffuse the situation, as Scooter and Pepe were getting pretty worked up.

"At least either of them is better than some cranky old albino war hero whose only claim to fame is he's an honest centrist," I said, laughing. Pepe murmured in agreement, but Scooter just stared off in the distance, like he was in a trance or something. "Scoots," I said, "what's the matter?" He finally turned to me, and with tears welling in his bloodshot eyes blurted out, "I CAN"T DO IT, I HATE BOTH OF THESE FREAKING BOZOS! I'm...I'm voting for the albino..." He got up and left Pepe and I staring at each other in numb disbelief.

Later when I went by Scooter's place to see if he'd sobered up yet, I noticed he'd put a McCain sticker over the Hillary sticker he'd put over the Obama sticker. This was serious. I went home to think about what I could do to rescue my friend.

Comments

[Nobama Please]

You know... I'll bet there are actually a LOT of cars that look JUST like the one at the bottom of this post today!
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P Moonbeam: In Berkelely they pretty much all look like that from behind.

[HygeneAl]

I'd almost swear I saw these two wonderful guys with Scooter the other day. They were driving around in Scooter's Chevy but Scooter wasn't driving, he was sitting in the back seat looking a bit worried.

Hummm...Peace, have you seen him lately?

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/front/5764886.html

HA
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P Moonbeam: I saw Scooter a few days ago. It wasn't pretty.

[HygeneAl]

This pic was taken when I was 6 years old, (the booze had somewhat stunted my growth to some degree). My hair is about the same. Oh, and I don't think that is a sippy cup, do you?

http://www.dailyhaha.com/_pics/beer_drunk_baby.jpg

HA

P Moonbeam: That pretty much explains everything.

[Wm H~World Famouse Critizer]

P Moonbeam: I need a drink." Me too.

HA

LMAO, your both adults, what's with the sippy cups?

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P Moonbeam: I'm not absolutely sure HA is an adult.

[HygeneAl]

He's come out of his energy eating house! Come look everybody, we've just lived through the dang coldest winter in 50 years and Al's been hiding his sorry pathetic arse behind close doors. What a limp wrist. They are trying to drop the terms Global Warming and change it to Climate Change, why should we let them get away with such a sham. Why won't he debate Peace? What is he afraid of? Huh? HUH?

Answer me darn it! You're a follower of his, why won't he debate?

http://www.businessandmedia.org/articles/2008/20080506160205.aspx

HA.

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P Moonbeam: Now HA, you're going to work yourself into a tizzy. Have a glass of wine and relax and don't worry about Al, he's got to do something with his pathetic life.

[HygeneAl]

"P Moonbeam: I need a drink." Me too.

HA
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P Moonbeam: All better now.

[Wm H~World famous mind control'r]

HA wrote in a rare moment of sobritiy; "Linda, or Linispinny, as she likes me to call her in those most intimite of moments, like when her head is going round and round like a Ferris wheel when I'm bringing great pleasure to her, is NOT gonna drop a he-man like me".

Peace honey, you wan't to tell HA our should I? Ok I will. HA, I hate to be the barer of bad newz of this sort but......well to get my jollys at your expense, Linda B., or as Pepe likes you to call him 'Linispinny' during his moments of cross dressing and and having his way with unsuspecting ridge runners...hehehe..well dude looks like he pulled a fast one on you as he cleaned your tube. (not to be mastaken for 'Yourtube". Anyway Pepe paid PM and I $5 and a bottle of cheap Mexician beer if we played him up as gurl named Linda to see who would come out of the closet. He has wanted you for so long and now that he has had you, I'm sure he will brag to Scoot of sampling the taste of victory, then I giuess he will dump you after selling the story complete with 8X12 glosses to the Berkeley Barb.

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P Moonbeam: I need a drink.

[HygeneAl]

Peace, see what Scooter will take for the Chevy, (minus the trash on the trunk and bumper).

HA
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P Moonbeam: He said it's a classic and worth somewhere between $50K - $75K.
I bet if you offered him $500 and a bag of pot you could own it.

[HygeneAl]

"That just shows how little you know about the attraction I hold over women." HUH? I mean..HUH? What the...HUH? What are you grow'n and smok'n out back of your trailer WmH? Linda, or Linispinny, as she likes me to call her in those most intimite of moments, like when her head is going round and round like a Ferris wheel when I'm bringing great pleasure to her, is NOT gonna drop a he-man like me for no reason, so dream on dude, dream on.

But I'm guessing Hillary could use an old fashioned lube job :) hehe.....Sorry for that image, that's not fair to do to anyone.

HA
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P Moonbeam: Oh brother. I'm speechless (and a little grossed-out by that last part)

[Wm H~World famous mind control'r]

P Moonbeam: "I understand Ms. Blair took out an Order of Protection on you. I doubt if you will be hearing from her."

HA HA HAAAAAA!

That just shows how little you know about the attraction I hold over women. Gurl, I am the original Alpha Male SEX Magnet, wome find themselves unable to turn me down once I've decided I would make the sacrifice and give myself to them, the are but poor charity cases, and always in need, and begging me, oh well, I quess some one has to do it (it is the christian way you know) if I didn't.........who would..HA? HAR HAR HAR.

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P Moonbeam: Obviously that's true, everyone in the gay community is very familiar with your reputation as being a "sex magnet" for Alpha Males.
Unfortunately (for you) Ms. Blair is definitely a female, and therefore quite immune to your "charms."

[Wm H~World famous mind control'r]

Peace honey,
I apolize for not posting a comment sooner but have been busy watch some old Viet Nam videos, Man the U.S. Navy fighter pilots kicked some NVA butt. Send me you email addy addy and $16.23 and I will send you the URL so you can watch them. Dang gurl, I was aroused every time those sea-going bellhops scrathed another commie. NAVY RULES! YEAH!!

P.S.
PM, will you email Linda B. and ask her to get back to me? She was about to give me her private phone number just as that dang Priest entered the room and started spraying what he claimed to be Holy Water from a water pistol. (that is like so uncool)

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P Moonbeam: I understand Ms. Blair took out an Order of Protection on you. I doubt if you will be hearing from her.

[HygeneAl]

“Hi Teresa I hope your still running ahead of them two lecherous individuals that post here. I mean way ahead.” When I was young, I was swift of foot, but quiet of mouth, now that I am older, I am slower of foot, and swifter of mouth, there is a physics principle involve here, e=mc3, or something like that. When I was about 27, for about 2 seconds, I had the perfect balance; I could and would say some clever little witty remark to an adversary and still be fast enough to run away.

Lo, those days are gone. Most any girl can now outrun me and so they always get away. Therefore, I have become a man of charm, a necessary change so I can woo the ladies to me and keep them close. I learned all this on the internet, so I know it's true.

Once I start turning my charms on Teresa, she will find little resistance, it is kind of like the same power vampires have over the women in the movies...well, not quite, they don’t yet swoon in my arms, but I'm getting closer.

HA

P.S. Scooter just needs a girlfriend, maybe if he takes a class at the local college he'll find one?

Tell him I said Hi and to not be too discouraged. Suggest him watching some goofy daytime show in which the participants rant and rave about their mother taking their son's boyfriend or some stupid stuff, I always feel better about my life after 10 minutes of that.

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P Moonbeam: HA, actually Scooter claims Teresa is his girlfriend, although nobody has actually seen him with a female lately.
As far as Scooter watching daytime TV, he already does way too much of that.

[jainphx]

Hi Teresa I hope your still running ahead of them two lecherous individuals that post here. I mean way ahead.
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P Moonbeam: That makes two of us...

[Teresa]

I'm sending Scooter good wishes and stuff because I think his heart is good, it's just his head that's screwed up. He needs direction and purpose in his life. Maybe he could help Gore bore us to death with more fraudulent environmental crap. I noticed from Scooter's bumper stickers that he really cares about the environment (and the gays.) Or he could become a sous chef, whatever that is.

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P Moonbeam: Hello Teresa. Scooter is extremely environmentally conscious, at least until he starts that worn-out ancient land yacht of his.
Greenpeace figures that for every 20 miles Scooter drives that old Chevy, a species goes extinct somewhere in the world. I totally believe this is true.

[HygeneAl]

Oh, be still my beating heart, the Dems are in fighting mode, blooding up each other real good, real good, oh, oh, they are leaving marks that even the left stream media won't be able to easily cover over in time for the general, though they will certainly try their best.

My heart would be aflutter if the Repubs had a conservative hero ready at the wings. McCain is a conservative depending on what he ate that morning, can he be trusted? After all these years in the Senate, we still don't know. Everyone says he's Pro-Life, I'll vote for him for that reason, I know what the other two are. At least the babies might get somewhat of a chance with McCain.

Oh, God, send us HEROS that will fight for the babies, for the innocent, for justice.

God, IF You will help us, then we WILL BE HELPED, if You don't, we are lost.

HA

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P Moonbeam: HA, I fear the worst, but hope for the best.

[jainphx]

Your trying to tell me Scooter knows how to read are you?
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P Moonbeam: Actually Scooter reads very well, and his artistic ability is off the charts. If only he practiced some sort of personal hygene.....

[jainphx]

Oh the Biltmore, Expensive taste have we. Scooter will be glad to finance your stay.

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P Moonbeam: I seriously doubt it, Scooter still owes me for college books, from over 10 years ago.

[Wm H~World famous mind control'r]

This is fantastic news!! I knew if I stayed focused and channeled positive GOP thoughts aimed at Scooter I could bring him around. Am I good or am I good..hehehehe

Wait until you see what I have in store for sweet Linda B, I'll have her begging me to call her sometime.
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P Moonbeam: If I had to blame anyone for making Scooter stupid, you would be my primary suspect.

[jainphx]

Peace, I know the feeling well. I live in Phx. and hate McCain about as much as Scoots. Why can't we elect some one that is sane once in a while. Oh well there's always an island some where, care to join me.
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P Moonbeam: I fear we are entering a political abyss. Trust me, McCain will look like Ronald Reagan himself after a few months with our next President Obama.

I'll join you if we can stay at the Biltmore....