Something Pale This Way Comes

May 9, 2008

Berkeley, California

Being around Scooter has become increasingly difficult since he's thrown his support behind that crabby old conservative, John McCain. Pepe and I have spent hours trying to reason with Scooter, explaining how McCain won't retreat from Iraq, raise taxes, give us free health care, etc. While agreeing this is probably true, Scooter claims the angry old albino is still better than either a "serial liar or racist ex-crack addict who wants to change things but won't say what things or how he's going to change them." Obviously, Scooter's been listening to too much talk radio.

Pepe and I planned to take him to the park for a Code Pink antiwar protest, figuring the protesters would be a positive influence and hopefully re-ignite Scooter's deep-seated hatred for the war and the conservatives that started it. Pepe picked me up at my place, then we headed to Scooter's squalid rental house. Upon arriving, both of us were amazed that Scooter had actually done some painting, picked up most of the beer cans and larger pieces of garbage, and even mowed the few patches of weeds and crabgrass he calls a yard. It almost looked respectable except for the gaggle of "McCain for President" signs in the front yard and the huge new flag waving from a piece of pipe he had duct-taped to the side of his house.

Not wanting to be seen anywhere close to the signs, Pepe honked the horn to alert the conservative pinhead to our presence. What happened next was like something out of an old "Twilight Zone": Scooter came through the front door wearing a suit and tie(!), and as bizarre as that was, it was his ghostly pale complexion and short, white hair that prompted Pepe to scream something in Spanish, throw the car into gear and step on the gas, leaving Scooter in a cloud of acrid blue smoke. With his usual dramatic flair, Scooter had transformed himself into a retarded parody of his candidate and idol, John McCain! In an effort to get his image out of our heads, we went back to my place and drank the rest of the afternoon.

Pepe is too scared to go back, so it's going to be up to me to somehow deprogram Scooter before he joins a country club, or something worse.

Comments

[Scooter]

I just checked the misery index, and found the math to be incorrect. Arthur Okun the dude credited with coming up with the index failed to take into account the misery of hundreds of millions of folks without a real life, folks who try to live the life of others each day by coming to Peace Moonbean's Cronicles in hopes of getting a glimps into what rich and famouse..you know the beautiful people such myself, Hygene Al, 1st2flee, jainphx, etc, etc, etc. So you can see, by adding these new figures to the index it raises the bar by several percentage points. In truth the the misery rate of main stream America seems to have gone off the scale and no data can be computed, but my sources on the street tell me there are a lot of screwed up miserable folks out there in the real world who would give anything to discover what brand of tolet tissue Ted Kennady uses.

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P Moonbeam: Scooter is sitting across the table from me right now and obviously did not write this, but even if he did, nobody would care.

[HygeneAl]

"New bumper sticker for 2008. ORDER YOURS TODAY! Designed by Scooter."
Thanks Scooter.

Problem is, most of the people who remember those years are either on meds and can't remember or have undergone shock treatments to help make them forget. Just as a refresher for you younger folk, the media that helped get Jimmy elected so fell out of love with him that they came up with something called a “misery index”:
http://www.miseryindex.us/

As one of the few living that actually remember those painful times, (I can't afford the meds or I would take them, and I feel, asking doctors to burn parts of my brain away with electricity should be left to alcohol consumption alone, not 110 volts), I'm of the opinion no one man or woman can destroy us. If we are going to be destroyed, it takes most all of us to reject God and the pattern of love and forgiveness and giving He outlined for us.

I'm not afraid of the next President, I'm afraid we will turn our backs on the only One who can help us, there alone is our destruction.
HA

[Scooter]

http://www.suitablyflip.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/05/10/obama_carter.jpg

New bumper sticker for 2008. ORDER YOURS TODAY! Designed by Scooter.

Scooter~Peace Out

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P Moonbeam: That looks like some of Scooter's work....

[Wm H~Got the hots for PM]

WoW! Peace, I am shocked at the way you've been putting Scooter down the last few days. I did not think you had it in you, but Scooter claims as a new born republican, he swears to socking it to you himself. All I can say bout it is, if he did, I advise he run for the nearist free clinic and scream out your name as he burst through the door...they'll know what to do once hearing it.

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P Moonbeam: Drinking already or still?

[jainphx]

The situation that presents its self, is way to complicated for Scoots to understand. He now identifies with McShamnesty out of rage, yes rage has changed Scooter into a a a Republican. There should be more rage if you ask me.
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P Moonbeam: What you call "rage" is most likely simple mental retardation.....

[Wm H~World Renoun Brainwasher]

I can hardly belive my eys, WoW! Scooter never look so good. I guess the ancient spell I read from that old book while waviling those chicken bones really worked.

Way to Scooter, I've spoken with McCain and he is very interested in putting you on as an intern next summer.
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P Moonbeam: You're not helping the situation.

[HygeneAl]

I don't get it, I just don't get it...the world is flipping upside down. Scooter is usually so, umm...stable. Three weeks ago WmH was typing like he was an award winning Nobel Prize winner in literature. Hillary seems to have become actually warm and friendly and the other day she said something truthful, I can't remember what it was now, but it was true. And here Scooter has become a suit wearing McCaininite.

Zowie, what next?

HA

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P Moonbeam: The whole world has gone to Hell.....