Good morning, my legion of faithful reader peeps.
The title of today's post says it all: Al Gore has made me afraid of the climate because I'm now absolutely certain it's trying to kill me. Last night I couldn't sleep, thinking about the fact that the only thing separating me from this killer climate was just several inches of wall. I finally was able to sleep after moving to the closet. I woke up knowing I have to do my part to reverse this global warming/cooling/changing thing. Here's what I've done so far:
- Taped 8 plys of Bounty paper towels over the end of my Suburban's tailpipe. This works like a secondary catalytic converter, or in my case, like a primary catalytic converter since I remove mine to pick up a few more horsepower.
- I put a potato under my vehicle's accelerator pedal to restrict excessive acceleration. I figure if I am in an emergency situation, like needing to race a Hyundai to the on ramp, I can mash hard and crush the potato (I really thought this out).
- I set up 4 small electric heaters to blow on my gas hot water heater so I could save some energy. As I don't have any extra outlets in my garage, I had to purchase a small generator to power the heaters.
- I closed the heater vents in my bedroom and bought an electric blanket and small electric heater. This allows me to funnel more warm air to the living room and safely turn down the aquarium heater thermostat 2 degrees. (If my fish starts dying, I will be forced to undo this change.)
- I am bathing in a jog suit so I can use slightly cooler water.
- I unplugged all small appliances until they are needed.
- I have shut off the rear speakers on my surround sound system.
This is only a beginning, but at least I'm no longer part of the problem.
Scooter peace out.
