Ward Churchhill Fired From University
Boulder - The University of Colorado Board of Regents voted to fire Ward Churchill on Tuesday evening, prompting the promise of a lawsuit from the embattled professor. The move came after committees found in 2006 that Churchill was guilty of academic misconduct, fabricating and falsifying research, plagiarizing the work of others, and pretending to be an Indian, when in fact he's just a goofy-looking white guy with high cheek bones and greasy hair.
After the meeting, Churchill and his supporters participated in a Native American ceremony outside the building, setting up card tables and hawking gaudy silver and turquoise jewelry to members of the press.
Me not going nowhere," Churchill told reporters. "White men oppress red brave. Brave not afraid, will financially scalp white men with Jewish attorneys." Churchill then tore off his shirt, jumped on his moped, and proceeded to wildly tear around campus while whooping threateningly at passers-by, finally ending up at a neighborhood bar where he drank himself into unconsciousness.
Scooter peace out.
