WASHINGTON (SR) - Onlookers were shocked and terrified this morning as hordes of beings descended upon the House chambers in the Capitol Building. Witnesses described the creatures as "arrogant, unintelligent, and profane," and reported them gathering to discuss "a means of enslaving the masses by controlling their health."
"It was scary as hell," said one witness. "There was a bunch of them led by what I would describe as some sort of undead, possibly female thing. I'll say this, as bad as it looked, it sounded way worse."
A Capitol maintenance man told reporters he had been Inappropriately touched by one of the beings that he described as having a speech impediment and "reeking" of Chanel #5. "It was like a retarded, fat, gay life-form that smelled good," said the shaken individual who asked not to be identified. He added, "I discovered later it stole my wallet."
My comments: Holy Pope-on-a-rope! I say nuke the joint and let's start over!
Just thinking about those filthy things befouling our nation's capitol makes me want a margarita - won't you join me?
What are they and what do they want?
