(SR) - Leading authority on global warming, Lord Stern of Brentford, warned that unless there is a dramatic decrease in farting, the earth as we know it is doomed.
In an interview with The TImes, Lord Stern said that people will need to turn vegetarian if the world is to conquer climate change, citing the fact that emissions from cows and pigs create a significant amount of greenhouse gases.
Lord Stern, the author of the influential 2006 Stern Review on the cost of tackling global warming, said that eradicating delicious farm animals is only the first step: "We must bear down on farts," Stern sternly warned. "For example, Rosie O'Donnell and two bean burritos could effectively melt an inch of arctic ice and kill at least one polar bear. This must stop."
My comments: For all his sissy-boy titles, this putz is a moron. Here's my plan: Mix a little Beano in with the cow and pig feed and kill Rosie O'Donnell. World saved.
Thank God margaritas aren't a major contributor to climate change, let's have some while we grill some steaks.
