Obama Awarded Peace Prize - Here's How

OSLO (SR) - In the wake of the controversy generated by President Barack Obama being awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, we have obtained exclusive information outlining the behind-the-scenes factors that resulted in his being chosen.

The following is purported to be a transcript of a Nobel Prize Committee internal memo outlining the compelling reasons for President Obama's nomination as well as an unidentified judge's personal remarks:

________________________________________________

Reasons To Award United States President Barack Obama

• He is the first half-white President of the United States. This is an inspiration to all half-white people everywhere. Too bad about the ears though.


• He is diligently working for peace. Thank God liberals hate wars and don't mind losing them. Obama is definitely about to cut and run from Afghanistan (but hopefully not before another few hundred yanks get smoked) and Iraq is close behind. 
  
  
• He has improved the world's opinion of his country. Not since Nobel Peace Prize winner Jimmy Carter has any U.S. president so eloquently admitted how evil and wrong the U.S. really is. This guy is one of us :)


• His actions have lifted many out of poverty. Through his ties with ACORN who knows how many crackheads today draw a paycheck instead of stealing from regular people like us? Also these crackheads register voters and despise conservatives - how sweet is that?
  


• His economic policies are making the world a better place. No President since Jimmy Carter has done more to stamp out capitalism in the U.S.. Who doesn't want to see U.S. citizens flooding Mexico looking for work? hehehehe :P


• He is married to Michelle. This is reason enough to give this poor guy an award and a ton of cash! Yikes!

Conclusion:
The final point gives Obama the edge over Chavez. Let's do Chavez next year.

________________________________________________

My comments: Let's have a few margaritas while we ponder what kind of retarded douche bags would award a "peace prize" to the likes of Yasser Arafat...

The edge, fellow Nobel winner, next year's winner?