WASHINGTON (SR) - Among the nation's pressing issues - wars, raging pandemics, economic calamity, health care reform, etc., by far the biggest story of the day revolves around the question "What the hell is wrong with Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius's face?"
Sebelius appeared Wednesday before the Senate Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee to answer questions concerning the government's H1N1 flu preparations, but the hearing was quickly canceled when many of the senators were too distracted by her bizarre appearance to continue.
Despite some reports that Sebelius recently had a minor surgery on her forehead, several senators expressed fears that she had actually mutated into a zombie-like creature, possibly due to exposure to the H1N1 virus or vaccine. "I had no idea the flu thing was this bad," said an obviously shaken Illinois Senator Roland Burris, "but I'll tell you this, somebody needs to whack that b*tch before she starts eating brains."
My comments: I saw Sebelius on TV and she absolutely scared the crap out of me. Nothing short of a full-blown zombification could produce a face like that. Thank God for margaritas!
Sebelius now a zombie? You decide.
