SCOOTER'S REPORT SPECIAL - According to the new Allstate/National Journal Heartland Monitor poll, considerably less than half of eligible voters would re-elect President Obama.
Only 39% of voters said they would vote to re-elect Obama if the election were held today. 50% said they would rather have their genitals singed by a propane torch, while the remaining 11% said they would apply baby lotion to a naked and aroused Barney Frank before voting Obama back into the White House.
The poll was conducted with 1277 eligible voters across the country.
My comments: For me, it's a tough call between the torch and voting for Barry - I've had my genitals singed several times with a propane torch, and it's no picnic.