W. VIRGINIA (SR) - Sen. Robert Byrd, (D-WV) is reported to have passed away Monday morning. He was the Senate's longest surviving member.
According to sources, Byrd had been admitted to a Washington area hospital a week ago suffering from extreme stupidity, but by Sunday afternoon, other conditions developed and his health took a turn for the worse, shocking many.
"Holy cow, I thought he died in 1988," said one colleague. "While I'm certainly shocked and saddened, he'll probably make a lot more sense now."
Administration officials say they don't expect any major changes with Byrd's passing, as his preserved body will be permanently seated in the Senate so he can provide the same level of representation he has for the last 20 years. "If anything, he'll probably do a much better job now that he can't speak," said one fellow Senator.