SCOOTER'S REPORT - If it's not here, it's not news:
While critics say Obama's "pathway" is more like a 20 lane turnpike to everything the American welfare system offers, the President made clear in his speech that citizenship will be anything but easy.
"This won't be a free ticket. Individuals will have to acknowledge they broke the law by spray painting "I broke the law" somewhere in either English or Spanish, then must pay fines and back taxes, preferably by not selling drugs or robbing convenience stores. They must perform a community service, like maybe cleaning up graffiti or something, and learn at least a few words of English other than "this is a stickup, mofo," said the President.
Pelosi: Unemployment Checks Fastest Way To Create Jobs
Speaker Nancy Pelosi said in her weekly legislative briefing Thursday that nothing is more effective at creating jobs than issuing unemployment checks to people out of work. Seriously.
Normally here I would make some kind of snarky reference to Pelosi's IQ; probably equating it to some sort of inanimate object like a swim fin or rubber dog toy, but that's not really necessary here, so I won't.
125K American Workers Lost Jobs In June
While many see June's job losses as yet another sign the economy is headed back toward recession, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi hailed the news as a "welcomed sign," saying she's hoping the federal government will "print more money fast" so the thousands of new unemployment checks can create badly needed jobs.
ACLU Issues Travel Alert For Arizona
The ACLU is warning illegal aliens traveling to Arizona over the Fourth of July weekend to commit crimes, that they may be subject to a new state law that does not start until the end of the month.
Arizona Governor Jan Brewer called the ACLU warning "retarded to a level no mortal can comprehend," and said, "Frankly, anyone getting their orders from the ACLU we don't want in our state, anyway. For God's sake, please stay in Mexico or wherever the hell you're from so we can enjoy our holiday."
