Breasts Not Bombs

September 5, 2005

Berkley, California

 

Hello all. As Peace Mother Sheehan (PMS) has broken camp and hit the road on her bus tour, it was time for me to come home. I wanted to go along, but unfortunately the last bus available was needed for PMS’s makeup staff, publicist, agent, film crew, acting coach, and spiritual guide.

Anyway, being back home isn’t so bad as there are many things I can do here to end this war, promote gay marriage, save our environment, promote reproductive rights, ban guns, eliminate illiteracy, stop nuclear proliferation, save the whales, outlaw SUVs, dismantle the army, and generally eliminate all conservatives, Christians and Republicans.

The first thing I did was participate in the “Breasts Not Bombs” peace rally downtown. Approximately 30 of us came together to powerfully move against the war by displaying our breasts. We marched for 4 blocks and tied up traffic while singing songs of peace – it was awesome and drew widespread attention, especially from the vocally supportive gentlemen outside the Salvation Army dining hall.

I have to say, however, that I was a little offended when onlookers took up a collection to persuade me to put my top back on. While this was personally hurtful, I will be able to put the $4,862.00 and the 1998 Toyota Tercel to good use. The Super Bowl tickets I gave to my brother.

That’s all for now. Peace.