From Kingsley Owusu
Bunburam Refugee Camp
Ghana
Dearest Beloved ,
I am Kingsley Owusu,And I am contacting you because I need your help in the management of a sum of money and Gold,if only you're a good and reputable God fearing person to assist me handle my inheritance fund left for me by My Late Father before he died..
Please for your information I want this fund to be invested out side Africa to any Country Abroad. Please I requested your help immediately. And with your help it is going to help the both of us.
Firstly, I want you to know that my father was killed by his political opponent September 25th 2004 when he was about going to London for investment , while I was in school. Since then I have been living with my mother, who was the former Managing Director of Food/drugs Agency Sudan.
My father willed in cash,This money is USD 15.5 million American Dollars which he deposited with I.C.B bank here in Ghana and the Gold is 22. karat 218 kilograms that was deposited in Goil Oil Services Company Limited here in Waja Kasoa city in Ghana. My father was a very rich Gold farmer and he was poisoned by his business colleagues and now I want you to stand as my guidance and appointed beneficiary as foreign partner and receive the money and the Box of Gold in your country since I am only 23 years and without father.
I contact you therefore to confirm if you can accept me into your life as my guardian, because since my parent left me, my uncle have claimed all his landed property and some other account with banks in Sudan before the War started. My Uncle was asking me if there is any other of my father property information I have. Which I refuse to disclose this to him, since I do not trust him any longer over his greedy and wicked act towards me. I am afraid he will seat on the money if I should tell him or let him about this fund. If I do, he is going to frustrate my entire life and effort.
Presently my mother and I are here in Ghana to notify the security company and the bank of the claims and we are staying in the refugee camp. Therefore I want you to advise us on how best we can invest this money in your country because my father never wanted the fund to be invested in Africa to avoid suspicions and due to market instabilities coupled with economic and political situation facing Africa.
Dear Beloved. Apart from investing the Money with you, I will compensate you with 35% of the total Money and all your expenses on this transaction will be paid back to you immediately the money arrived to your country/account.you are going to manager the investment for some period of years before you hand it over to me.
Please as you show your willingness forward to us your full name address and Tel/Fax number earnestly awaiting your response. On the receipt of your contact details we shall present your name to the security company and the bank as our appointed investor,
Please contact me on this email for further detail. ([email protected])
God Bless You.
Kingsley Owusu
June 28, 2008
Bunburam Refuge Camp, Ghana
Yeehaaaa! If you don't think Scooter and I haven't been celebrating like rock stars since he received the above email, you're crazy - we have! I have no idea how this Kingsley Owusu guy knows Scooter, or why he might think he's a "good and reputable God-fearing person," but apparently Scooter is going to be stinky rich because he does. The really good news is that Scooter's agreed to give me 5% of the 35% he gets to keep of the 15.5 million dollars - by his calculation 6.3 million buckeroos :) Even though we're friends, I made him put that in writing before I'd agree to help him :)) Scooter will retain all the "22. karat gold", as he wants to make it into gigantic jewelry pieces like the ones 50 Cent wears.
As for investing Mr. Owusu's money, after weighing all his various options, Scooter went with the only thing that could guarantee the kind of high return and zero risk he was seeking: limited edition commemorative plates from The Bradford Exchange. By his figuring, we could buy the entire issuing of the new "Lizards of the World" plate series, thus giving us the sole ability to set the price on the international market. Brilliant! Why do I have a feeling this will be the most valuable plate series ever? Ha! Scooter called the the vice president of the company and ordered every set, plus the remainder of the popular "Tractors of the Soviet Union" series just because he could.
After contacting Mr. Owusu, we learned that all we had to do to secure the loot was to pay the standard Ghana cash/gold transfer tax, a mere $5,000. Scooter was careful to get Mr. Owusu's specific written assurance that we'll be reimbursed for this fee once he makes it to the ATM machine in the neighboring refuge camp. Fortunately Scooter was able to sell his car for what we needed (he's ordered a new Mercedes anyway), and we sent Mr. Owusu the funds via Western Union, as per his request. Afterward we threw a huge backyard party, which gave us a chance to use our new plates (Note: next time use plastic sporks as regular forks scratch the lizard pictures all to hell).
OK, it's been a few days and that butthole Kingsley hasn't sent us our money or gold yet. We did receive a package from him, but it contained only a little piece-of-crap carved donkey that Scooter's going to hang from the rearview mirror of his new Benz. We are now in Ghana at the Bunburam Refuge Camp going door to door (actually cardboard to cardboard) trying to find Mr. Owusu - obviously he's hurt or had a seizure or something and needs help. Meanwhile, back home some moron from the Bradford Exchange is clogging our answering machine with threatening messages, which I'm sure is illegal. When we get hold of Mr. Owusu, he's gonna pay extra for our mental duress, and you can take that to the bank.
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